Last night I dreamed that someone was taking away all my favorite parts of my job so I could purely focus on all the things that turn me into a Tiny Rage Monster. Now I'm at the theater for a two-show day. Should go well.

I'm glad that I'm not in charge today, as I'm basically going to spend all time when I'm not doing something for this show working on my next show, as I'm about to be in tech. This includes, but is not limited to:

- currently working on blocking paperwork while I can spread out in my office
- working on props tracking during the show, as I figured out yesterday how to balance everything on the part of the soundboard that I'm not using
- taking home glow tape to cut while watching TV
- holding an animation marathon in my apartment tomorrow to serve as background to whatever of the above doesn't get completed today


I'm so proud that I still have [most] of my fingernails currently, though I imagine I will not be able to say the same thing this time next week. So much for adulthood.

(sorry, this is an incredibly long single sentence)

Tonight I called the show by running both the light and sound boards (normally, for those not in the know, you only cover one, as it's best to not over-task your brain), and while it was one of the more terrifying things I've ever done (you can run all the cues all you want, but it's completely different to do so with the actors - and even more so when the first time with the actors is also in front of an audience), it was also more reaffirming to my stage management career than anything else I've tackled in the past season.

everybody's life has got static

I'm full of the allergies, there's a sizeable splinter still in my finger from Saturday's strike (which I'm fairly sure is either going to stay there together or cause me to pass out when I pull it), and I start with two separate shows this week. Bring it, spring!

three

This time tomorrow, I'll be on a plane to the north.

This time tonight, I'm eating creamy jalapeno on my couch while watching an episode of "Legends of the Hidden Temple" after having done a bit of city gardening.

This time three years ago, I was gearing up for a second show after having moved into a new apartment in the morning. I was about four hours from coming home to a land of endless piles. (That sentence could repeat on many another day in my life.)

(also because I'm off Monday)

I may* or may not be still awake because I just did my taxes and (now that I have a refund number) am looking at dresses for an event in June that I'm not even officially attending yet.




[*May. Definitely "may."]

magical, mystical three-day weekend

Sleeping in until 8:15 a.m. may not seem like much of an accomplishment, until you remember that it's (A) me and (B) I'd already conked out before eleven last night. However, I'm not sure how great of sleep it was, seeing as my dreams were essentially calling past shows in a battle royale of technical failures, line flubs, and FOH mishaps. So that was fun.


I wish I could remember what caused the cut over my right eye (as you'd think I'd remember such an action), but I'm going to assume it's another casualty of Monday's strike and hope that I perhaps get a cool scar out of it.



In completely unrelated news, it just hit me that I made lunch plans with someone at a mainly Irish pub on St. Patrick's Day. I think I'm going to ride that one out and see what happens.

I have bacon bits AND sour cream right now, so it's BAKED POTATO TIME, Y'ALL!

* I've spent all day bouncing between re-reading a favorite book and watching movies. Hurrah! Best day off work ever!

* Yesterday it was pointed out that I always celebrate whenever I perfectly time out calling the voiceover cues (which have the slightest lag on the front) with when the audience will stop laughing/clapping from the previous scene enough to hear the sound cue, as soon as possible to avoid adding extra time on the show. It's not easy, I don't hit it every single time--but, man!, when I do--yeah, I'm gonna celebrate. On the plus side, this is helpful because I've been a little burnt out on stage management for awhile. (Some of this is very likely from working at a resident house, where I get a constant paycheck but don't always work on productions I care about.) Even if there's just a little spark right now, it'll hopefully glow again.

* Anyway.

* What is it about Sandra Bullock? She's in at least three movies that stop me completely when I see they're on cable somewhere (such as "While You Were Sleeping," which I'm watching right now). Dang--four: "The Lake House" somehow gets me every time, too. [I don't have anything else here. It just hit me a little. I'm a sucker for her movies.]

* Excuse me while I watch the wedding disaster, bake some cookies (because my apartment is freezing), and finish this book.

[I think we've all had this basic incident with our job]

* receives email
* reads cryptic response
* thinks "okay, that sort of answers my question"
* continues reading
* thinks "wait, what does that even mean - that has nothing to do with this"
* thinks "if I ask about that, will I like the answer? Will I suddenly be in charge of it? Will it be worth my brain power to get involved?"
* files email

lumos / nox

I dreamed that my old middle school was now housing all the props and set dressing from the Harry Potter movies, and (of course) they were all actually magically, and (of course) you could tour the stacks ... on broomstick.

I know that I am a responsible adult this morning, as I am not currently still asleep and waiting to see what popped up next.

2131

Why yes, I seem to still be awake at slightly-past-two-a.m. because I'm listening to movie score snippets on itunes, trying to directly identify the single piece of music I adored in a movie I saw one year ago.

I think it's safe to say my life took a weird turn in January. 2014's gonna be a strange one.

(And now I'm trying to do *four* things at the same time...)

Today I wrote my meeting notes on the paper wrapper from a pack of copy paper because my computer was stuck in an endless loop of updates and I don't always pack a notebook when I have the laptop on hand. I know the table probably shared a collective "really, you don't want regular paper" moment, but Y'ALL! It had natural folds so I could keep each department in it's own section and it's was double the size of my normal meeting notebook and I kinda wish I could use it every meeting.

[In other news, I remembered I had a blog again. Perhaps more will appear soon.]

So, the usual:

Things I Should Be Doing:
* wash dishes
* take out trash
* clean the bathroom
* take down and store Christmas decorations

Things I'm Actually Doing:
* being online
* eating cherry tomatoes
* watching TV episodes I've already seen at least 10 times apiece

publishing separately because now I'm chasing 39

Take note, actors of the world! Whenever you...

- ask a question that I've already answered (especially in reply to the email where I answered that question)

- don't send confirmation that you'll attend [whatever] after I've specifically requested it, and then show up anyway

- make a request of me that would only require thirty seconds of your own time (but will take much longer of mine)

- behave in any other rude or unacceptable manner

... I make a note. (Some shows, I've literally had a column where I've kept track of who was difficult to deal with prior to the audition.) And, whenever the director is trying to decide between you and someone else, I just might pipe up with that information.


[Why yes, I might be going through my community audition emails today, why did you ask.....?]

I only posted 38 times in 2012; clearly I'm suddenly determined to do better this year.

Hey, you wanna see the world's saddest mac & cheese? ... Neither did I.

Also on the list of things I didn't want to see: the giant roach in my dishwasher this morning, especially as he was clearly too large to have climbed in through any entrance path I could see. (I did, however, learn that my racks pull out completely, which became helpful as I tried to chase a roach around the inside of the machine.) Steam rinse, you're my current favorite setting.

I feel like I should preface this by saying I'm really, truly okay.

Today it became absolutely, non-sarcastically funny to me how much I've cried this week. (Please refer again to title.)

Some of it was legit - dropping my brother off to go to a family Christmas I didn't get to attend for the first time, talking to those same family members on Christmas, looking into moving, general hormones - but the vast majority has far more flimsy reasoning. For instance:

* Brian D'arcy James singing the instrumental parts of "I Can Do That"
* crushing milk jugs
* the giraffe in the "Southern Comfort Zone" video
* typing audition sides
* running out of soap

And onwards. Really, it's been ridiculous. Even by my normal standards of inward emotional turmoil, this is above and beyond.

However.

* If I had traveled this week, I would've just been upset about having to leave early (and pull the rest of my family away early), while traveling in March gives me a wide span of dates.
* I hate change, even if it'll ultimately save money. (Well, money I'm gonna spend on bookshelves if I have to leave my built-in shelves behind.)
* I trust in the God who knows where all this is headed, even if I can only see a little of the path ahead.
* At the time, it was kinda devastating to run out of soap.

In retrospect, I didn't need to buy the to-go pie from House of Pies.

* I am thankful that I'm not spending the day trying to rush to an airport, then to a theater, then to collapsing into bed. Tried it last year, didn't work out well.

* I am thankful for plans, already afoot, for a time of the year when I won't have to rush, and family members willing to take time out of their schedule to see me then.

* I am thankful for bacon, chocolate-covered cherries, creamy jalapeno dip, pickled ham, and the many other less-than-helpful items I've eaten this holiday. Yum!

* I guess I'm thankful that I love my family enough to be sad about not being with them this year. Some people don't have that, and I'm grateful that I do (even if it hurts at the time).

* I am not thankful for the bug on my kitchen floor this morning, but I guess I should be glad I was here to kill it.

October? There was an October?

Today in "Approaching True Adulthood" News: it didn't even hit my brain until about 4:00 that I could've done a midnight screening of Thor tonight. Hey look, it's me instead choosing sleep and washing dishes instead of screaming crowds ... and also I completely forgot that it opened today because nothing sticks in my brain anymore.

[I might be more on the "Approaching True Senility" side of things, really.]


It's my half-birthday tomorrow, so let's all get prepped for me to start having feelings about turning thirty. Watch out: that's gonna be awesome.

currently 85 degrees

I had seriously considered popping into the pool tonight (what's the point of Texas if you don't get to swim in September?), but I've seen too many movies to get past the Friday the 13th-ness of the day. Nope, can't bring myself to go swim by myself.

Maybe it's just as well - I'm not sure how it can be only 9pm on a Friday and me feel as tired as I do tonight. I think my body is catching up on all the sleep I missed over the past three months ... but all in this week. (Dear self, I don't think this is a good plan...)

the end of a thing

(As in, the quote often used in the booth the past two months: "Well, that was a thing.")

THURSDAY - Not gonna lie, I was stressed to the point of wishing I could just sit in a corner and cry. (I didn't, so I guess that's good.) Instead found out my favorite stagehand is a Braves fan ... and was watching the Cards/Braves game on his phone between cues.

FRIDAY - Only two things stand out from the show: One, the curtain getting caught on the tree was my favorite part of the show, or--more accurately--the subsequent rush of stagehands to rescue the curtain (though I decided after the show that if such a thing had happened in the first act, I would've deemed the show cursed - it taking place mid-Act 2 just made it funny). Two, I never truly saw the bat flying around backstage - all I saw was something dark move quickly and highly above the dressing room hallway, with just enough time to think "WHY are they throwing things BACKSTAGE?! - standby light cue 267." Somebody trapped it in the conference room, which is how the actors lost their green room part way through the evening. I should've stayed around to watch the stagehand recover the bat (this somehow involved throwing a towel), but I wanted to reset props instead.

SATURDAY - Shoot. What do I even remember about Saturday's show? [I really only wrote this so I could remember the bat forever.] Um... my darling mess, D., spinning like a frakking dervish in the wings before entering calmly in-character. The Miller staff being happy I restocked the Butterfingers in the candy jack-o-lantern. Offering headset high-fives to the light and sound folk after the storm sequence. Finally feeling coordinated at pressing three headset buttons and the deck crew light switch at the same time (that's a big one). After the show, the Miller staff asked to keep my contact info on file, and the same crying actress hugged me three times.

Life, right now.

I'm enjoying this new channel that randomly showed up, and happens to be airing Farscape from the beginning. Starting this week. Opa!

Oh, hey there, week old creamy jalapeno dip! Why, yes - you are trying to kill me with your concentrated, built-up power. I was gonna save you to marinate chicken, but I think I'm gonna eat you tonight instead. (I'm not at work tomorrow - I can stay up until 2pm.)

I've spent the last couple of weeks slowly working my way through both 'Spaced' (over work lunches) and 'Slings And Arrows.' Neither show had a long run, and I'm gonna be so sad when I finish one. Then the other.

I was gonna run to Walgreens for some milk (and to take advantage of a free rental), but instead I sat online while a Broadway composer I love had a live webchat for whoever wanted to sit in. Sometimes I love technology.

Just sent a thing. Hope it goes over as intended.

Oh, "Pacific Rim," your ridiculous film, you. Four out of four snakes on a plane - plus another half for what my brain wants to call 'love theme for a giant monster' playing over the end credits. Gosh, I wish I'd been at a midnight showing rather than in the house of six people I sat in today.

Please go with it if I start using "canceling the apocalypse" in regular conversation for a few days. [Besides, if any position in theater has such a slogan, you know it would belong to the stage manager.]


Okay, yes, I'm going to bed now.

My body may have tried to kill* me, but I'm not actually dead yet

*Don't worry, family members: I'm mostly exaggerating. (Except that I really truly felt like death ... yet still made it to every single day of work this past week. I might have other problems.)


- The show is open, and that's good, even if it hasn't started that "show running itself" thing that shows usually do by this point. None of the kids seem to be actively trying to destroy any of the other kids (except for some of the siblings - nothing I can do there), so I'm grateful for that. I have a rolling door frame that I think is working toward sentience as it's started actively refusing to move properly onstage, but there's little I can do there, too. [Maybe it'll grow smart enough that it'll start resetting props for me.]

- A fair portion of my day off today went into final construction of the Brother's birthday gift (he's already okay with it being late). I'd post pictures, because I'm really proud of how it turned out, but that would sort of defeat the surprise. (Ask me in a month, you know, when I remember I have a blog again.) I love when I get to be geeky and crafty at the same time. Also, cardboard still sucks to paint (just TAKE the COLOR!) and I always always forget this.

- I'm fairly certain the heatwave is gonna kill half my plants before my mom shows up next week. Sorry, mom. Sorry, begonias.

I'm currently on track to fall asleep *before* midnight, and we won't talk about how long it's been since that happened.

During rehearsal today I listened to the ASM and a cast member talk about how weird it'll be when they turn twenty-three because Taylor Swift's "22" won't be the same to them anymore. I remained quiet and focused on not sprouting gray hairs.

This has not been the greatest of weeks, though at least the second half was not sucky, especially in comparison to the first half, where my whole system felt like it was going to simultaneously implode and explode at the same time. (I'm sure that's a thing that happens, right?) All my tech week stress hit a week early, along with some professional and personal upheaval, plus we all know how much I love sharing with others that I'm not feeling/dealing well.

*sarcasm!*

Really, though, life took an upturn after Wednesday's not-at-all-awful run-for-tech, and I'd like to think I worked through enough tech week things this week to tackle tech much calmer next week. (I'm also enough of a realist to know the last part isn't true--some bizarre thing I haven't even dreamed of yet is probably going to drop mid-week, as it always does--but I've done enough other things that I'll hopefully have time to deal.)

Before then, though, I'm sticking with tonight's bedtime schedule. G'night.

Things that consistently make me laugh like it could kill me:

[purely in good ways, of course]

- the post-post credits scene at the end of "The Avengers"

- the inmates' reaction to '...and cherries jubilee' in the Nathan Lane version of "The Man Who Came to Dinner"

- the indoor water balloon fight from "Parks and Rec"

- whenever Brian Williams appears anywhere making fun of his on-air persona

- "SAVED by the BUOYANCY of CITRUS!"

[this post has a somewhat abrupt ending because my bacon was burning, and the thought was gone when I returned]

It occurred to me recently that I've stopped taking down quotes like I used to do. My quote habit's been running since ... middle school? high school? (Definitely strong and well-known by college.) It certainly isn't that people around me stopped being quotable - I imagine it's related to not running a show at the moment. When I'm stage managing, I'm never too far from a piece of paper (or, in a pinch, pen on the palm of my hand) to take down a note or reminder or whatever. Why not write down everything else amusing at the same time?

Maybe I'm growing more comfortable taking part in life in other ways than my previous introvert-approved method provided. (When you're the person documenting life, how much do you actually need to be involved?) Maybe I'm just tired of walking around with ink on my hands, which reads far more metaphorical to me than the reality - oh man! you write down something funny, but forget to transcribe it somewhere more permament before washing your hands ... this happens in my life way too often. Probably something in the middle - behind chewing my nails, this should be my longest-held habit.

"Come and meet the girl who can"

Oh, Houston-area comic cons! Why are you all happening at times when I cannot attend you? I'm even [unintentionally] one step closer to a Souffle Girl outfit:

Step one - vaguelly looking like her (thanks, shortness and brunette hair)
Step two - learn a British dialect as part of high school theater
Step three - red tennis shoes!

(This conversation just made very little sense to a lot of people I know read this. Sorry.)


I looked around yesterday and realized a large portion of the photos I have out are the same pictures that moved to Texas with me. They're still great pictures, but I'm switching some out to reflect more of my life from the past--sweet heavens--seven years. (Don't worry, "swankin ladies" isn't going anywhere.)

(I don't know where all these earrings came from, nor why they live in my apartment.

Productive things from today:
* cleaned the bathroom
* sorted out my linen closet
* so much sweeping


Less productive things:
* finally watched that Netflix
* matched the (approximately) ten million earrings mixed up in a tray together
* used a coupon to buy a frivolous thing I wanted to buy anyway


Completely unproductive:
* watched the same five minutes of Doctor Who multiple times to see if I would cry each time (the answer is yes)
* saw Jurassic Park at the HMNS with my company intern gal
* only slightly superglued my fingers together

let's watch the flowers grow

So ... hey there, twenty-nine. Pleased to meet you, whatnot.

It was a good birthday, with lots of people offering nice words and nice food. It was also one of the few birthdays where I didn't have specific theater-related duties (rehearsal, performance, or otherwise) for the day, which freed me up for the people and food. You guys are all awesome.

[Seeing as the power just flashed off and back on, I'll cut myself short. Please remind me about how I wanted to talk about all the random things I've found while cleaning out my closet boxes. Hello, college notebooks and picnic baskets.]

I just wanted to hold onto this thought.

I'm baking cookies, and the simple act of laying out newspaper/wax paper for them to cool brought on a rush of my childhood like you would not believe. I've rewritten that sentence five times trying to get the right emotion out. Close enough.


[Also, don't get excited, actors: I'm not sharing these with you. Thought about it, decided against.]

"Not everything comes along just when we want it" -Miss P

I cleaned my kitchen, then cooked dinner. Which means part of my kitchen needs to be cleaned again. I feel like I did this in the wrong order.

It's been fun unpacking drawers and cabinets to find where I threw knicknacks or important papers or whatever in the haste of clearing things in the apartment. You never quite know where anything will be, which is equally frustrating and fascinating at the same time. (There's a lot of "why did I think that would be a good idea?!" happening in 21 lately.)

I had a third thing [per usual], but it's gone now. Oh well.

Hello.

The great March apartment flooding incident should be [oh please, nothing else pop up] complete forever, as I have new carpets and walls and rent credit. Also, my furniture is basically back where it belongs, though I have a bunch of boxes around from where I'm using this as an opportunity to reorganize. Of course.

I'm working the children's show now, which is ... unexpected. Also, I enjoy doing a show without *being in charge of everything* since it's such a flip of my normal life. You need someone to turn on some lights and fetch water for the dressing rooms? On it! (I played sudoku and texted people all through yesterday's tech, and it was glorious.)

I've been to the movies twice in the past two weeks, and have standing plans for twice more before the end of the month. April, you know the way to a girl's heart.


You now have to do a comment confirmation word-thingy. I'm sorry that we live in 2013 and spambots are trying to take over the world. (On 2013's plus side: Skype, watching baseball games live over the internet, Jurassic Park in 3D)

"It even tastes purple"

Two years ago I moved into this apartment. Ironically, my current dishevelment matches a lot of that first day's disaster. (On the plus side, I did *not* have a two-show--or even one-show--day today on top of moving. What were you thinking, twenty-six year old Hannah?) I'm slightly more in flux this time around, though I suppose I could crank the Les Miz whenever I finally get to put everything back to rights again.

Today I bought new flowers for the annual "enjoy them until they inevitably die from heat" tradition, but they looked so lonely and in need of rescuing from not getting enough water. Don't worry, little begonias and petunias and whatever-the-third-was, I'll happily love you.

Also, I got a free purse, two packs of Jammie Dodgers, and the cutest little Thor action figure that ever went on clearance. Such a good day.

updates

[this may or may not turn extensive]

* I almost like the deleted scenes from "Pirate Radio" more than the movie itself. (This is not actually an update, unless you wanted to know what cheered me up this evening: if you are sad, you won't be after watching the "Stay With Me" deleted scene ... unless you've never seen the movie before and thus won't understand the scene at all.)

* My apartment was only a flooded swampy for about a day and a half, and hot water magically came back a few days ago (though sometimes with questionable pressure). The complex is apparently still working on bids for the actual plumbing fix (seriously?), but will move me if the construction is going to be too disruptive to my world. For now, though, I'm supposed to keep stuff moved out of the way in case the temporary fix springs a leak again and my closet again returns to a bayou. (I think I'm going to adjust a little, now that I know we're not right in the middle of construction, as there is literally a bookcase on my bed.)

* In other "I'll need a vacation in April" news, we're one week out from Winter TAA performances and two weeks out from Easter, which means my production side gets to overtake my life for the rest of the month. It's weird to be out of practice in generating tech tracking paperwork. Also weird: coming into a project with only three weeks to go, fitting an entire rehearsal process into two weeks, and something thinking the character name "Queenan" would make sense to anyone. Two dress runs tomorrow with teenagers! What fun!

* I wanted to write a post about my favorite movie composers and bits of score and etc. after a conversation I had around Oscars-time, but then life happened and I never got it written and now it just floats in my brain when I should be thinking about other things. (this would've been featured, if that's informative) [Also this, and probably this for completely different reasons, now that I'm trolling.

* Don't trust Thick Kevin on anything.

* Daylight savings is still messing with my head, as I feel like I could be awake for another three hours, and seven a.m. is gonna feel like death.

* This post needs some Thomas Newman. The man still doesn't have an Oscar, he might as well get some love here.

[that moment where something that caused you a certain amount of anxiety proves to work out exactly in such perfect detail that it stops your breath]

I love walking in the city at night, and I love that I live somewhere where I feel okay doing so (even if at times it's only to go to the corner Walgreens for milk). Even better was tonight picking up on the scent of smoking wood from somewhere, bringing together the best of the country [I love a fire at night -- and not for the pyro-reasons you might be thinking] with the lights of the city.

If someone were to open up some sort of restaurant with a fire pit enhanced outdoor seating somewhere in within walking distance of my apartment, I would never eat at home again.

I might be using my laptop to stay warm right now.

And by "might be," I actually mean "sweet heavens, why is it so cold in my apartment?!" Get it together, Houston weather - especially as it relates to the inside of buildings.

Additional reason why I shouldn't have a roommate [at least as long as there is only one bathroom, and no dryer]: the bathroom is currently drapped out with all my drying laundry, as it saves me an entire load to just let my jeans drip dry in the shower. This was a way more awkward habit when DD was still in the picture.

I'd say I was confused why I was already so tired at only eleven, but I have a sneaking suspicion it has to do with still being awake at almost three this same morning. Can we call it practice for the movie marathon next weekend?

There'd be a fourth point here [basic jist, "Elizabeth Taylor! Put on a dress!"], but I'm tired and refuse to shoot out poor grammar when I see it in action.

LOVE

[purely from today, so not an exhaustive list]


- onion rings

- the AMC BPS, especially whoever pays attention to details like starting the movie "Zero Dark Thirty" at 12:30A (as in, true zero dark thirty)

- Hugh Jackman

- interns who like to bake

- Excel spreadsheets

- Dolly Parton and Porter Wagoner's "Old Flames Can't Hold a Candle to You"

- being at the theater for a show when I'm *not* in charge

- not dying in car accidents

- Cobra Starship's "Snakes on a Plane" credits song

- the knowledge that there will be an episode of 'Community' waiting for me when I get home

"Is that the voice you use to call Ryan Gosling?"

I'm at the point of illness where I feel okay, but have lost about 1/3 of my regular vocal register. Sultry sick voice: you're fun, but I have things to do. May I stop coughing now?

In all my rewatching of Animaniacs over the last few weeks (syndication is a wonderful thing), I've noticed that (1) even being a with-it kid, there were a lot of jokes I missed until now and (2) I still don't care two wits about the Goodfeathers or Mindy and Buttons. Sorry.

I guess I should check on the literal "and then I found $10 dollars" I discovered last week, and see if anyone came back to look for it after I left. Otherwise, milkshakes for everyone*!





*everyone meaning me, two and a half times

In unrelated news, my throat is vaguely on fire, and I keep almost throwing up. So that's helpful.

How not to sell your property: the large note of DO NOT DISTURB TENANT NEXT DOOR.

Let's not dwell on how hard it is to decide on places to check out when I need to see what bus route they're on ... and the Metro trip planner software is currently under "technical difficulties." Thanks, team.

Also, hey there! one week out from tech, even if I'm not in charge of the show. I should maybe edit together all those cues that I haven't edited together yet, huh? It's not like I'm currently making progress elsewhere.

Two things:

I'm working on sound (preshow and intermission) right now for Texaco, and I wanted to note that

- Elvis recorded so much music, there's a CD out of his specifically "inspirational" sort of songs.

- Five words: "The Johnny Cash Children's Album." I want to hear the same man who growled out "Boy Named Sue" perform something call "There's a Bear in the Woods," don't you?

$5000 ham napkin

Things that shouldn't matter, but do: if I have to turn in this DVR, that means the end of 2011 Game 6 goes with it. (Also, who knew I still had all 4+ hours of game five against the Nationals still saved? Certainly not me! Who is surprised that I sat and watched the last fifteen minutes when we came from behind to win the whole thing - also not me....)

There is so much afoot right now, and I just can't even. Apartment hunting, Stupid Adulthood Decisions, and the end of 30 Rock: my goodness. I'm gonna eat my feelings in the form of a large pizza.


[Side note: I am pretty good right now, for the record. I just hate dealing with decisions that have no clear-cut solutions. My brain refuses to see it as "then anything could work fine!" and flips into overdrive trying to find the item with the most flaws.]

...and then I realized it was quarter-'til-eleven and I hadn't eaten dinner yet

Don't worry, Mom. I ate a lot of Goldfish crackers today. BUNCHES. Anyway, on to the usual bullet list, eh?

* Note to self: redo fingernail polish before Saturday, as a small sign to the stage mothers of the world that I can keep myself together [and disguise the fact that I will spend all summer chomping my nails off from stress].

* Taking a day off in the middle of the work week is fantastic. (Even if I was still dipping into emails, just in case.)

* Lunch dates are even more fantastic, especially when they involve four extra people you didn't expect to see, and a baby. Babies are great. [Technical side note: let me qualify "babies are great" with the proviso of "...as long as they don't have to stick with me full time." Sorry, um, all my friends with kids. Your kids are great, but...you know.]

* Oh, show. I think I only watch you because I can predict the plot points before they happen, and then I feel good about myself.

* Excuse me while I go eat, well, anything with higher nutritional value.

"I would never ask you for four"

[This post is going to get a little stream-of-conscious. Go with it.]


My plan was going to be to type up the Anne/Gilbert sides for Saturday, but instead I've been doing other highly important things, like reading blog posts from two years ago and finding amusing .gifs from the Golden Globes. I know people will say I should focus on not doing work while I'm not at work, but my work hours keep getting eaten by other things. And I *so* don't want to end up spending my Saturday morning typing scenes.

I think every single person in my office spent time considering other jobs today. It was that sort of day. Nothing else needs to be said.

I need to cut my hair because it's at that state where I can't do anything with it except put it in a ponytail so it can get out of my way, or I can keep growing it for the sole purpose of being Clara for next Halloween. As always, what good is working for a place with a costume shop if you don't borrow a Victorian outfit now and again. Also, if DW is going to gift me with a short brunette character, I'm all for it.

TJ Manatee, you're a fantastic roommate, but you should wash the dishes now and again. The sink isn't going to clear itself.

I love how pleased Mr. Vandemaar looks when he's stuck the knife in his hand.

Sorry, that's a Nevewhere reference. Happy birthday, London Underground.

[Someday I think I'd like to go as Door for Halloween, but people have enough trouble figuring out who I am from my weird costumes.]

I've managed to bring my new email count down from twenty-one to seven [with many more than just the 21 hitting during the day], so I count that as a win.

The Houston Symphony was one of those emails, and they're apparently playing Dvorak's New World Symphony this weekend. Sometimes it's nice to not be at rehearsal.

This is apparently post #2102. I always miss the milestones.

I should add a subtitle to this blog about how it's [nearly] always lists and be done with it.

* What really pushed me over the edge to returning that dress I bought on impulse right before Christmas? That'd be setting up an appointment for a technician to come out and realign my satellite dish after the wind tried to destroy it earlier this week ... and the cost being almost exactly what the dress cost. Between that and my shoulders looking weird, I'm now ahead $1.59.

* I'm now glad I have internet, as I'll be slowly streaming the new episode of Downton Abbey off the PBS website instead of watching it on the DVR tomorrow.

* Also, this is now me working from home Tuesday afternoon so I can be around during the four hours that someone *might* show up. Also-also, this is me not buying season six of Doctor Who this month. (Oh well. Most of it is on my DVR anyway.)

* Unrelated (as we always reach on these type posts): it's January, meaning it's my pre-Oscar movie bonanza season! Hurrah for not working a show slot right now, huh? (Though I promise that wasn't my thinking at the time. When we set the schedule, all I saw was the first chance to *not* do a show, even if that was after [... um ... nevermind, too depressing] shows in a row. Excuse me while I try to track down rumored short features and reupdate my Netflix queue. It's not like I have TV to watch anyway.

life and things

* I don't know how many times I've seen the "Breaking the Magician's Code" specials, but I cannot NOT watch them whenever they're on. (Thanks, holiday marathons.) I think it's the snarky commentary - I *know* how we cut a gal in thirds, but I hadn't remembered the quips.

* Related fun fact: one of the specials covers the trick that broke my pinky toe a few summers ago.

* Seeing as it's now 3 p.m., I should try to be an adult and do real life things, such as finish unpacking from last week's trip, unload the dishwasher, and (only in my apartment) remove the heels from the bathtub after washing off mud. Instead I'm going down a rabbit hole of full broadway shows on youtube [yes, while watching the masked magician over-guesture] and steampunk crafts on blogs.

* I should maybe eat a full, real meal rather than the ridiculous amount of snacking I've been doing so far today. Bah, adulthood.

* Now all I really want to do is watch "The Prestige." Mmm, Hugh Jackman. (And Tesla. Don't forget Tesla.)

* The show is closed, there's a few weeks until auditions for the summer show, and I have chicken wings in the fridge. I think life it pretty grand.

Is there a more joyful scene in cinema than when the Oneders [that's the ONE-ders] hear their song on the radio for the first time? (If so, I don't want to know about it. Thanks.)

I'm not sure why, but my copy of That Thing You Do! is now randomly pulling up the subtitles mid-play. I'm not selecting them, and then go away when I turn the subtitles [back] off, but it's weird.

Phase two of mailing Christmas cards went out today - hurrah! Progress! Goodness, it's easy to mail things when you actually have *stamps.*

It's a good thing I have a variety of food in the house, because that makes it [slightly] easier to move past sitting on the couch and eating nothing but goldfish crackers. (Have we talk about how I'm essentially nine? I thought I'd aged up a bit, but I was wrong.)

Oh, Regional Holiday Music, how much I love you. You, and Baby Boomer Santa. And Danny Glover's facial expressions.

I burned my pizza, but I'm eating it anyway.

* I can't stop listening to this same Macklemore and Ryan Lewis song, which is weird since I normally don't like rap music. Chances are though, if you've seen me with headphones on in the office over the past two weeks, I'm still listening to "Can't Hold Us."

* I have functional hot water in my tub again, which is notable if only because I no longer have to wash like it's 1812. (Thanks for the training, fort years.)

* Two other techies and I spoke to a group of eighth graders today about what we do and why techies are the real reason shows happen [at least, that's all I cared about]. I sold stage management, as I always do, as getting to tell people what to do. I hope that doesn't backfire on their show.

* Today I also looked up for review of the new Spice Girls based musical (they were less than zigga-zigga-ah), Oscar nomination short lists, and how long Allie and Noah were apart in "The Notebook." I promise I did work, also.

Excuse me while we practice dropping a tree on an actress. Theater life, how glamorous!

This is me feeling bad about not posting, and then turning into even more of an emo teenager than I already felt.

Hello, today I feel atrocious. I have a headache that has only gotten worse, and no amount of free chocolate left at my office door or videos of Adam Savage recreating movie props or interviews with new DW cast members have cut back on the general funk an all-day headache causes.

Happy things:
* I love reading the books I'm going to give away as family Christmas presents, as it makes me pick up things I wouldn't normally and then I don't have to make room for them on my shelf.

* New 30 Rock tomorrow!

* Christmas crafting

* Discovering there's a large variety of blueprints online to create a TARDIS out of LEGO. I like when geekery combines.

Things I probably don't need to keep in my wallet:

* The Continental Airlines wings I gained in 2006 [post 2006 London trip]

* a book of one cent stamps (when all the other stamps are own are forever stamps)

* an address that I later found out was incorrect

* a one-day Missouri fishing license

* a small rubber snake

* that Staples gift card I've magically *not* spent in the past two years

* A receipt from two months ago that has a midly funny quote on it.

* All those pennies. I mean, really.

Costumes that didn't work out:

Because I'm such a visual person, I have a whole file on my computer of inspiration pictures of Halloween costume ideas. One or two have actually happened (I finally deleted my Mary Poppins folder a few months ago), but most are possibilities from the past or for the future that haven't managed to happen yet. [And some that didn't even make it to the picture stage, they were dropped so quickly.]

Kaylee - Oh, Firefly's Kaylee. I've been thinking about putting together this costume for, oh, five years? I'm probably one decent-priced jumpsuit away from going crazy on this one. Really, that's the only big hang up, seeing as I probably have everything else already in my closet.

Zombie Jane Austen - I ended up being Mary Poppins instead.

This was probably a good swap.

River Song as Cleopatra - This was my plan for last year, but then nobody had a party. I liked that it meant I got to be a Doctor Who character ... who is disguised as a real historical figure that I wouldn't have to explain to anyone. (Those in the know would've appreciate the exploding TARDIS Van Gogh print, I bet.)

Lady Sif - The same time I wasn't Cleo/River Song, I also wasn't part of a four person team of Thor's friends, Lady Sif and the Warriors Three. The best part was the boots with wings - I wish I could have those for real life. (I also wish they were acceptable for wear in real life.)

Liz Lemon - How did this not happen this year? Surely all I needed to do was print a ID badge and buy a bag of Spanish language cheese twists. I blame work schedule for preventing even that small effort.

River Song from 'Angels Take Manhattan' - I have pearl earrings and the hat. That's as far as I got. [I really just want to be River Song. Who doesn't want to rock heels, shoot bad guys, and banter with the Doctor.]

Miss Congeniality - Would it surprise you to know that I have a sparkily full-length gown in my closet? Any year that I actually put together a costume, this has been my backup if the Plan A doesn't work out. I mean, why not - all I'd need is to borrow a gun from the theater's prop shop and make a sash, and I'm ready to be Sandra Bullock.

GOD BLESS

I am thankful for TAA parents who buy too much food for showcase day, orchestra covers of pop songs, and the giant bag of carrots leftover from last night's Bunnicula preview event (and it's good friend, Bowl of Ranch Dressing).

this is not the return post I was planning

The past week I've been scrounging together all the scraps of paper of started posts, messages saved in text drafts, and other bits of non-posts posts from the past two months of nothing.

This is not that.

Instead, this is me celebrating upping my text messages, as it's ridiculous to me that I ever lasted on 250 per month for as long as I did. Ah, five year ago Hannah, who couldn't believe she'd ever use so many! (This is clearly before I was stage managing many shows. I can't possibly SM without texting anymore, as that's my best way to track down late actors AND share snark with the ASM.) But three months in a row of overage charges (and many a month before of being mad at people - don't they know I'm almost at my limit?!) means this is probably the best investment to make. Also, think of all the pictures I'll post on Twitter now that I don't have to choose between that and sending my designers information from rehearsal!

Fun fact: this *still* does not make it okay to text me just "K" in response to information.

I'm still alive. Snark Monster is still alive. (These are separate, yet very important items.)

Life is happening - Charley, Sherlock, NASA, family visits, sport stacking, beaching, keeping all my fingernails (except for the thumbs, which I chewed off during last night's awful rehearsal), and etc.

Someday I'll update more specifically again.

Tomorrow: six years

Things about Texas:

* You develop opinions about guacamole and queso.

* You learn to live with humidity reappearing in February.

* "Winter" is the magical time when you start to wear a jacket--a light jacket.

* The metro is the friend to the friendless. (Actually, the car-less.)

* If you haven't jumped in a pool by the end of May, you're wasting your life. (See also: go to Galveston on your Monday off, take the NASA tram tour, and free museum Thursday)

* Much like other circumstances where only the people closest to a subject are allowed to disparage it, you now are allowed to hate on the Astros.

Happiness is [something I've lost track of lately.]

I don't know what it's been with this show -- whether I've never fully bounced back from my long run of shows, or aren't as sharp after taking vacation, or a lovely combination of both -- but I've felt off my game during the rehearsals of this show. Let me tell you, that's a shaky place to stand as a stage manager. (Also, anyone who has seen me these past two or so weeks: sorry I've been an un-fun, sleepy ball of stress.)

Instead of that: things over the past month that have brought me happiness:

* Bacon. (I mean, it should always be on lists like this, but there's something that explodes with joy when I eat bacon after a rough rehearsal.)

* Whenever a friend listened to me work through my frustrations, sent a cheery text message, passed along a music recommendation, asked if I needed dinner, took me to dinner, and many other things. (I hope none of you took it personally when I just wanted to be left alone, also, whatever your best intentions. Sorry that I sometimes need to be hermit to like people again.)

* Delayed birthday presents: I am so okay with this. I mean, I don't want them all to be delayed, but they're a fun pop-up a month later.

* The country western version of the Star Wars cantina song toward the end of the movie "Paul" - the best part of an otherwise whatever movie. (Excuse me while I remember to check itunes to see if it's available for download.)

* Running in the rain Saturday on the way to the theater. Related: knowing I had a change of clothes waiting for me at the theater.

* The hot water pressure magically working again in my kitchen. Okay, so it wasn't magic - friendly apartment workman Jose fixed it, as he has many other things at the complex. He also left behind a small mess, as he has many other times. (I like to think of me cleaning up after his repair as taking part in the process.)

* The begonias someone else left to die by the street, roots exposed and drying, that now live in my office - you're one of the best things I've ever found on the sidewalk.

* Nicknames.

I'm still alive, I'm currently eating mashed potatoes (and will eat bacon when I go home after rehearsal), and I haven't been completely overwhelmed by tech week yet. We'll call that enough for now.

sorry, this is just longer than twitter

This isn't the sort of show you can get away with wearing heels while stage managing, as there are sizeable set pieces to move at intermission and I'm fond of both my ankles in non-snapped form. However, I don't have socks stashed under my desk anymore as I've done laundry since the last time I ran a show. Actors, I see your point: I don't want to chance the questionable box of unclaimed, possible unwashed spare socks gathering dust in the corner of the dressing room, either.

I'm going to need to backdate some things.

I keep drafting posts on my laptop at home, but that doesn't help me much as the internet does not live in my apartment (and I haven't been able to pick up the hotel's wifi in ages). Oh well.

We're already blocking the summer show, which means I'm already rewriting blocking. It's tedious, but I like that I can turn on music or (if the blocking isn't very involved) a movie for background noise. I'm also covering the mainstage performances this weekend, so I'm essentially jumping from completely free to completely booked. (I don't think I know how to live any other way.) Please think kind thoughts and prayers for me this evening around 10:35, as that should be approximately when I'm conducting the cast through the ending musical tableau from the booth. I think of high school drum major try-outs every single time I rehearse.

Unrelated to anything: someone is going to need to stage an intervention between me and the song "Run Daddy Run" on the Hunger Games soundtrack. Because I mean really. [and hit repeat]

I'm about eight minutes from my airport ride showing up in the office, Les Miz is blasting from the speakers, I have the MS1 script packed to read on the play (because I'm super excited about "---"), and my vacation outbox message has been on for I-won't-say-how-long. Let's do this.

things are gonna be great / at 28

So maybe it'd be considered cheating to specifically pick the new birthday song, but I don't really care. My rules, my game. Besides, "In the Light" reflects (ha) what I didn't feel I did well this past stressed-out year, and hence what I need to keep working on this year. (And isn't it nice to have a song that I actually know the words to rather than a general knowledge of melody and chorus?)

[Fun fact: it's the Truman male a capella group True Men's version that plays in my head, no disrespect to dc Talk. (I wish I could find a link to share.) Further fun fact: it's the same version I played over and over the first week I lived in the new apartment (before Jessica moved in) to help me fall asleep. I was on a flat mattress--or the couch, depending on the day--and there was crying. Bless you, younger Hannah.]

Sometimes I like playing "follow the margin citations," which is how I jumped around the Old and New Testaments last night, though originally starting in Psalms. We need the light, whether as a scientific principle or a symbolic representation of God. Light warms us, nutures us (whatever vitamin I don't get enough of because I'm always inside a dark room ... and growing the leafy things I don't usually eat unless there's a burger attached), and guides us through and out of darkness. One of the first verses I've learned due to theater is from the top of John: "The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness does not comprehend it." The light that we need so badly to survive is a mystery to the darkness it conquers, just as it is a mystery to us who naturally have that same darkness in us. (Who here really remembers all the talk in science class about photosynthesis or electricity? Science Major David, please don't buzz in.) Maybe all this made more sense in my brain last night at midnight-ish, or even this morning drafting it on the bus. I just know I can be petty, and intentially mean, and I sometimes lie to actors (even when it's not to their benefit), so I need the light as much as I can soak up at any given time.

I don't care that there's now a separate spot to add a post title. I'm going to keep using the one bit of HTML programming that I know to make this line appear like it does.

I'm still at work for a couple of reasons, though none of them are that it's weird to have a show tonight that I don't have to stay here to run. (This is such a good thing, I cannot even express it.)

At this point, I'm still here because (1) the internet is slow, and things I wanted to take care of during the day haven't been accomplished yet and (2) I was gifted a large mug of Butterbeer (oh, the sweet caramel literary-inspired goodness), and I'm not going to let it go to waste (or sit in a spot where actors will drink it instead of me. The jerks.)

"Jerk" seems to be my insult of the moment, which I guess bears documenting. I don't know; I'm full of sugar right now, I fly to Missouri in a week, see "The Avengers" at midnight tomorrow, and I was handed Cardinals tickets for this weekend to go with my Butterbeer. This is either the universe apologizing for my often stressful 27th year, or wishing me an extra special early 28th.

Something Missouri Hannah never would have said: "Guacamole, I love you."

(I just said that sentence aloud in my otherwise empty office. Of course I did.) It's still weird not being at the theater in the evenings. (I guess other people think so, too, as I had a few ask me if I was at Saturday's rehearsal because I missed being part of the process.) It's really on this week that I've started spending more time out and about, rather than clinging to all my precious time sitting on the couch. (Dear couch, I love you. Yes, more than guacamole.) * I'm helping out with props right now, which is how I've quickly learned how to address letters, German-style. (Hint: the numbers are switched around from American.) This is also much better than typing scripts for captioning. * These fish tacos I have for lunch are *so good,* I'm actually glad that it only takes one to fill me up. * I feel like there's something a bit off with Whataburger sponsoring the Bollywood film I'm watching on Hulu right now. Are they aware of what happens to cows there? * Gosh, there's lots of open white space in the new Blogger template design. I am not a fan. * Someday, I will not be stuffed up or dripping from the nose or generally completely well once more, and then I shall celebrate. This is not going to happen for a few days, I think. * Probably a vital step to keeping the plants in the office window growing would be remembering to water them. Sorry, Easter-themed plants.

I'm still at work because this is where the internet lives.

(Not that I don't enjoy sitting by the side of the pool at my complex and picking up whatever unsecured wi-fi happens to be floating by on the breeze. I just don't want to be that person who is always there.)

C. suggested that Kat and I buy one of those themed party places, where kids come for fairy tale themed tea or whatnot. (These are the things people talk about when we're stressed about work, apparently.) I'd be all for that, if it wouldn't wipe out all my savings and force me to continuously work with kids and probably end in me punching a parent while wearing a frilly dress. (Let's call this post-ADP Plan E.)

Could someone else please be as excited for the new J.K. Rowling book as I am, regardless of the lack of new Harry Potter? Maybe my excitement is because I want to pretend that it *is* new HP, pre-ordering it and finding a place to pick it up at midnight, and then devoting the next few days of my life to finishing. (And then crying because there was no Hermione to be found among the characters.)

the word "volume" never looks like the proper spelling. In fact, I just checked it again.

So I guess it's good that I haven't bought any sort of plane ticket north yet, as the final audition day keeps moving all over the calendar, and especially all over the two weeks I'd originally blocked out for travel. I'd already given up on April as too soon (especially now that it actually is April), and at this point I'm fine giving up my birthday to auditions if that means I can still take the rest of that week for vacation.

Somewhat notice, ADPers: auditions might be May 8. Don't quote me.


The leftover ice cream cup from Saturday's rehearsal is about to become the best part of my lunch, as this Mediterranean chicken tastes neither like chicken or Mediterranean food. Dear leftover chicken casserole sitting in my fridge: I miss you.

check concession cookies

(stashed in my show notebook)

No one has asked, but how do I memorize my called cues? (I seldom know what light cue I'm in at the Mainstage, as the bright monitor decreased my ability to see in blackouts ... and that board doesn't tend to jump cues at random.) Sometimes it's as simple as "on the word 'please,' we're at SQ P" - sometimes a farther spaced association, such as "where the frak is [actor]?!" at SQ F.

as they are in fact downers

Second graders really don't care about what stage managers do, except when it means they get to play with light and sound buttons. This shouldn't surprise anyone, but boy was the point hammered home by the time we reached the third group during today's workshop.

I wish I had more reasons to make stenciled tshirts, as it's really quite simple (well, pending the pattern), and I love peeling off the paper to reveal the crisp edges. Love, love, love that.

My brother earned major brownies points today not only by sending me a just-because package, but also for the enclosed note talking about how you can never have enough packages...unless they contain human fingers.

I, like the rest of the world, love streaming CDs before choosing to purchase them, and thus have spent the afternoon (such as I've been in the office) with the dulcet folk tones of songs to kill children by. Thanks, internet.

Also thanks: I just entered a contest for a trip to London (as you do) ... for a trip next week. I'm sure I'm not doing anything important like Easter rehearsal and such.

94% at 6:03

There's a song in my head, but I can't remember the artist ... or any of the lyrics ... or much of the music. It's basically the same three bars on loop. (Also, the music video is really depressing - an older guy who always sees the same older woman in a laundromat, but never hast he courage to talk to her - until he finally goes to her apartment and finds out she passed away.) HELP.

I probably did not help the situation last night by coming out to the lobby, bursting into laughter, and yelping "HA! That's awesome!" in front of the crowd stuck on either side of the off-its-hinges glass lobby door. (This is why I quickly took over box office to help the successful who were already inside.)

Golfish Pretzels take nearly everything I love out of Goldfish crackers. I speaking, of course, about cheese.

We're approaching the one year anniversary of my move. Yikers.

Last night I dreamed not only that I was in a booth, helping call a show (not the SM--just there as actually a rather pushy observer), but also then helped load-out the set into a large truck...which was somehow parked in the church hallway. Jeepers. And some of the staff isn't a fan of us *now,* when we do basic things like park outside.

However, this is part of why I can't motivate myself to do anything productive today. I've clearly already done a full day's work - it just happened to occur in my subconcious. (I imagine I'm not allowed to tally that on my company time sheet.)


Yesterday I checked out a book from the library, one that I'd been looking forward to reading from a Southern chick-lit author I like (no judging!) ... only to start reading it at the bus stop this morning and realize I'd already read it before. How did I forget a whole book in the space of a year? (I mean, beyond all the crazy....)

I refuse to wear the sleeves when snuggled in my slanket. I'd rather see myself in a large, leopard print robe.

(Sometimes it's good that I work in theater rather than a real office job.)

Two days ago I realized I couldn't remember which leg had the scar from minor surgery in high school. (Hey there, non-cancerous mole!) This drove me way crazier than it should've. (Fun fact: right leg)

I've decided to be my mother [hold for gasping] and play the year-long version of the license plate game. You could say this is because my version of the road trip is my daily bus ride. However, it's mostly because I keep seeing a Massachusetts plate in my area and I feel like I should take advantage of that score. Also, it goes along with my natural tendency to create lists ALL THE TIME, so that's a double score.

Related! Bands/Musicians/Pieces I would like to hear live (if, you know, I didn't always have to work)
* Flogging Molly (if this had been it's own post, the title would've lamented not seeing Flogging Molly, Celtic punk band extraordinaire, on St. Patrick's Day. AGAIN.)
* OK Go
* Stravinsky's "Firebird" (though I did sit in my office and listen to it live from Royal Albert Hall)
* The Bangles
* Dvorak's "New World Symphony" (which was scheduled the weekend Ike hit - and then reschedule opening weekend for a show I worked)
* The B-52s (Were at the zoo. I had to work.)
* Billy Joel
* Elton John
* Billy Joel and Elton John together, when they reunite to tour together *again*

he-ey guys!

So let's not talk about yesterday where I was kinda Jerk of the World and spent the last half hour of the regular work day searching for other jobs around town.

Let's instead look at the things which have increased my happiness (which is almost the same as decreasing my stress, no matter what Leroy [and Myrtle, which is what I'm naming the stress knot on the other side - please see Mr. Latore for any explanations] may claim):

* Item 1: This picture, which is from the actual front page of today's "Daily Telegraph."
God bless the Brits.

* The water fight scene in last night's Parks and Rec likely is the funniest thing I've seen this year (I don't care that we're only two months in - the point stands). Go to Hulu while you can, as I have no other link to provide you. (FACT: I laughed so loud and long, I had to pause the video and explain to Sparky what was going on)

* I love these shoes. Sorry, I don't have a picture.

* But I have this picture instead:
And, really, isn't this what the internet needs more of rather than another picture of my shoes?

maybe these headaches will stop when February does?

I just now looked over at the desk phone and realized it said "March 1." Silly phone, why didn't anyone tell you it was Leap Year? Part of me wants to not say anything and see how long the phones sit on the wrong day, but the other part of me sees the incorrect date as only adding to all the things that currently feel off (and we all know it would take awhile to be fixed, anyway - why prove it?)

You can take or leave it./This is who I am. (REPEAT.)

Songs I've had a hard time moving past this week:

* Little Big Town - Boondocks: (In fact, I'm listening to it right now. I went back to make sure I had the right artist, and then I couldn't stop myself from playing the whole thing.) I don't know, I guess the vague Midwest overtones of the song drive deep down to my Missouri soul. I also dig the four part harmony, as would any ex-high school choir member.

* Dixie Chicks - Lullabye: This makes me want to pick up guitar again. Also, spin in circles. (Possibly both at once, but I'd have to work up to that.)

* Dar Williams - Cold Missouri Waters: Not only is this one of the more depressing songs on my player, but it's also on my list of "songs I have to listen to at least three times in a row before moving along." Yet, I can't get enough of the fire, and dying, and thirteen crosses high above the cold Missouri waters. [Fun fact: I have absolutely no idea why I would've originally downloaded this song.]

* Spring Awakening - Don't Do Sadness/Blue Wind: I really have no desire to see Spring Awakening, but goodness! The strings! The orchestrations! Lovely! Also, (when I am in a location where it would not be awkward) I enjoy belting along with the lead singer his "YOU KNOW! I don't do SADDDDDD-NEEEEE-ESS!" Oh, little emo boy.

"But what if these post-its have always been friends and now they can't talk to each other if I put them in separate desk drawers? They'll *hate* me!"

Of all the movie choices I could've made while cleaning around the office today, "Brave Little Toaster" probably shouldn't have been my pick. Though now I know why I couldn't remember any plot points from the film, despite being sure I'd seen it as a child - clearly I repressed everything due to it being so confounded depressing/frightening. Mr. Fireman Clown, whispering "Run!" with more menace than I've ever heard anything: I do not look forward to seeing you in my dreams tonight.

"tech-annual" is not the right phrase, as linguistically that implies I only do this once per year...and we know what a laugh that is, right?

How have I not yet posted about needing happy thoughts for tech week? Probably because it wasn't on my to-do list.

* My 11 a.m. Vitamin C drop. Seriously. (My nine year old self just died a little.)

* The NYE helium balloons that are still in my office, even if they're deflating more and more.

* CMS sending me that pack of Doctor Who minifigs. (I'll send you my spare Cyberman.)

* Tonight I get to go home to a DVR full of classic movies, 30 Rock, and Project Runway. Also, bed.

* Oh, campfire spork, you know I love you most of all.

Yeah, I'm not actually paying attention to this best documentary nominee. They're not gonna give the award to the tree-huggers anyway.

Dear bug bites, Where did you come from? It isn't bug season, nor am I spending enough time outside on any given day to receive bites from the non-existant insects.
Perplexedly yours, H


Shoot. I had something else. Bah.

This campfire spork is the best investment of all my Christmas shopping.

I realized today that I posted so much in college (as compared to now) because I didn't have Twitter then, and fluffed out my thoughts into paragraphs to justify their existance.

Also, I had papers I didn't want to write. That was kinda big, too.

So.

I'm sorry for being a bit over-dramatic lately. I'm not rethinking all my life choices--let's just say I'm evaluating a few of them. (Dear SP: I don't know what I would do if I weren't an SM either, so that likely won't change soon. Love you!)

If you include the special events of the past two seasons (which I do, because half of them involved a difficult director), this is the eleventh thing in a row I've stage managed for the company. I hasten to add that I feel beyond thrilled to be constantly employed--in my degree field, of all things--especially when I check in on my fellow theater majors online (all the baristas, dog walkers, office workers, and even actual theater workers). But everyone eventually reaches their edge of sanity, and I've been teetering for awhile.

I didn't get into theater for money (only an idiot would), but I can't pay my rent on the satisfaction of a job well done. And I don't want this even to be about money (see again: idiots in theater, above). You don't grow up in a home parented by a state employee and a teacher, yet think money is all there is to life. (Dear Mom and Dad: Thanks. This was a good thing.) I'm just a little tired of being stuck at work all the time, and being told I'm doing good work by people who don't always understand what exactly I do, and calling that enough.

I'm feeling antsy about life, but haven't figured out where that's leading me to jump next. (Or, maybe I'm supposed to just sit back. Working on it.)

going through last week's rehearsal notes

Why I'm Not An Actor (Reason #...um):
DIRECTOR: Want to go back and try that again?
ME: Oh, CRIPES, no!


HEADACHES:
* Director 1 talks with Director 2
* Director 1 announces Plan A
* SM agrees to Plan A
* Directors arrive at rehearsal
* SM tells Actors Plan A
* Director 1 tells Actors Plan B
* Actors get set for scene
* Director 2: "Is this C? Let's do Plan C."
* HEADACHE


There's nothing as awkward as one actor trying to vamp through a line that's supposed to be cut off by another actor...who is trying vainly to get her page turned.


Dear actor currently giving the costume designer copious ideas about what she will or will not wear for the show: please enjoy the equally copious stick pins that will be "accidentally" left in all of your costumes.

come on out here pineapple

This morning I was thinking about the guy that I always used to see at the bus stop, every workday morning for months. One day he couldn't find his card and didn't have any change, so he asked me to borrow a dollar "because I see you here everyday." I agreed, so of course this was the last time I ever saw him. I'm sure there's any number of rational reasons why he would disappear from my morning routine, but I prefer to see it as the weirdest long con ever.

I came into work this morning to find thank you cards from two of my BCPE kids. One thanked me for helping her find her halo once when it was lost. Sometimes you know why you do what you do. :)

AWESOME!*

I feel like crap (somewhat suddenly and without warning+), which would usually be okay with it being all almost tomorrow and thus time for sleeping ...

... except my laser-like skill of ALWAYS SEEING THE STUPID COCKROACH~ just kicked in, and I now feel extra crappy after chasing a bug around my living room until it was dead under one of my many shoes that I leave strewn around the apartment for just such a reason.^ So this is me drinking some of that immunity-boosting nonsense and eating crackers and hope that I can fall asleep soon and not think about the fact that I was going to wear those shoes tomorrow."




*Not actually awesome. This is called sarcasm, and readers of the blog should be familiar. If not, please leave now - this will just be confusing.

+This is totally not without warning. I normally snack constantly at my desk, but haven't for the past three days. My body is probably shutting down completely without the extra calories.

~A blessing and a curse: I know the suckers are dead, but thus can't fool myself into thinking that mine is the only apartment in Houston where they don't live. (Also I can't rest

^Nope. There are just too many of them to care. There are six pairs in this room alone, including the cowboy boots on the opposite couch.

"Psh. Not now, I won't.

posting here rather than Twitter to delay the panic among my actors

THE SCARIEST WORDS IN THE WORLD (regarding tonight's rehearsal): "...and I asked them, 'Don't you want an understudy to read that tonight?' and he said 'No, apparently [she's] just going to talk tonight.'

Here, Mr. Shane. Now we can discuss the Spice Girls.

But more specifically, you have no idea how much I'd love to hear if you have an opinion on the Spice Girls movie. In fact, I'd happily mail my copy north to you, just for such an occasion. (Somewhere, Merefin and Angelfish are giggling.)

I just finished reading our K4 Cinderella script. I wonder what it says about where I am in life that I'd rather Cindy end up with the Jester than the drip of a Prince. Why shouldn't she go for the person who actual works to improve her life (and points out that she has a fairy godmother!) rather than the guy who only pops up briefly AND uses the same line about sighing TWICE. Maybe it's because I'm not a cheesy line person (despite my unrelated love of this) but c'mon? "There's that draft again! ... people always sigh when they see something beautiful" is just awful.

I didn't think this through beforehand, but ha--excuse me while I go sweep and mop the stage. (What! I need to tape it out! ... If I can pretend to be a fairy tale character at the same time, why not? Clearly I'm not too mature yet.)

I'm gonna need to backdate something after I write this, because this wasn't how I wanted to start the year.

Last night, as I sat through forty minutes of back and forth "I don't know - what do you want to do?" (and the only answer in my brain was RETHINK MY LIFE CHOICES), I already knew this was not going to be an easy audition process. But, as of tonight, if I have to sit through an hour of hemming and hawing, "I don't know"s, and back in the day reminiscences every night after rehearsal, I'll quit this job by tech week. I just really can't deal with it anymore, not after dealing with those kids for three months, not after this many shows in a row. My last bit of flexibility went out the window in giving Mr. Walker a show he could be proud of this summer, and I've been coasting ever since.

Unrelated to any of the above (but don't we need a change of subject now?): my Sondheim book has somewhat ruined my pop music ear. I mean, nothing can totally kill my pop music ear (I fully expect myself to be the awesome 80 year old who can sing Spice Girls songs), but I can almost *feel* the off rhyme when a song tries to pull out, say, "car" and "arm." (The slurry country twang helps more than my typing, but still.)

perfect, shiny, and new

I guess traditionally this would be the "wrap up the year" post, but I'm really just looking to kill about twenty minutes before I need to start working on things for the evening, and frankly that's not enough time for anything productive.

(Well, unless you count popping open the bottle of sparkling grape juice you bought for the booth *now* rather than during the show as productive. Then, goodness, it's quite helpful.)

This patch of time has also been productive for:
* finishing my bowl of soup
* remembering the batch of paychecks in my desk for the children
* reaffirming that I know nearly all the lyrics to Everclear's "Buy You a New Life"

I need to decide if I'm actually going to wear my NYE-appropriate dress all evening, or slosh around in my usual blacks. It's extremely likely that comfort is going to win out on this one, but we'll see.

I can't get the newspaper to go on vacation hold, because they say I don't have an account even though the papers keep coming and the toilet that was "fixed" from leaking out the back on Wednesday now leaks out the front and for a moment there it sounded like a spaceship was trying to take off from my parking lot...

But THAT'S OKAY, because this time tomorrow I'll be on a flight to the northern lands, where--according to this morning's report, at least--we shouldn't end up snowed in anywhere.

Also, at that point, time needs to take some sort of slowing down potion (those exist, right?) because I won't see the fam again until probably next summer. [Also, I love my BCPE kids, but we all need some time apart. Yes, even with just one week to go.]

I'm trying to do an all carry-on Christmas this year, so we'll see how that goes. (That should also indicate how much shorter of a trip I get to have this year.) Also, please airport staff, don't break the [=======] for [-------] or else I'll cry big fat tears. Also-also, I should maybe see about getting a ride *from* the airport next week, seeing as I'll be headed straight to a show. (I'm already aware this was a bad plan. 3:57 at IAH, anyone?)

My favorite post-haircut game is "No, I didn't get a haircut."

Yes, I'm still nine.

There's a small part of me who kinda wishes I hadn't cut my hair, as it was fairly (within about two inches) of being Locks for Love ready again....but that side of me was happily beaten into submission by the 'tired of stringy hair' side. What kid wants my split ends, anyway? So, goodbye hair: you had a good year (wedding updo, Bellatrix updo, too many pigtails full of pencils to count), and I'm sure we'll do it again next year when I'm too busy to get you cut again.

Not so much with the productive today...

(though it's only 7 p.m., so I have at least another four hours)

Of all the things I attempted today, the only really successful endeavor was cleaning my bathroom (*you're welcome, soon to be here brother!*). I burned my casserole [which was supposed to feed me off and on for the week], I discovered that apparently the mall does NOT have a JCPenney [which then makes it hard to purchase family Christmas gifts from the JCPenney folks], and my day can always be torpedoed by a Top Model marathon on one of the style channels.

What *did* I accomplish? (a brief, somewhat disappointing list):
- bought a new gallon of milk
- washed dishes
- pulled out the vacuum (which is that much closer to actually using it...)
- caught up to middle of October of "Wait Wait" podcasts
- stared at all the cool kits in the LEGO store and again lamented that no one in the family asks for them for Christmas anymore, meaning I don't get to sort the bricks Christmas morning anymore
- bought discounted alligator earrings (the mouths chomp)

GOSH! I was productive today!

I should do this "stay home from work" thing more often. Grocery shopping, done. Cleaning kitchen, done. Laundry [including hanging things up after], done. Organizing junk boxes, done. (Though, regrettably, Finding address book to send out Christmas cards, failed from the start as I still cannot find the address book) Goofing off by reading half a book, done...and congrats to self on only spending that much time on it.

I need to vacuum, cook a casserole for the week, and finalize some Christmas presents, but I have tomorrow evening free as well (bliss!) to tackle the rest of my list. I should probably make a dent in my newspaper pile (only one week behind) before they become ridiculously out-of-date again. For now, though, I'm gonna eat another cookie based on my brand new stoneware. Thanks, Mamita.

I kinda wish now that I had just gone ahead and hung up the costumes backstage, but SERIOUSLY kids, you've got to remember these things. (Yes, even when there's free food involved.)

Note to self: make a sign for the exit door - in decreasing font size, "Did you earn your star sticker today? No, really? Sure? (Hannah says check again.)"

Last night I met an Apollo 13-era NASA engineer (who happens to be the grandfather of one of my favorite kids). He slept in his car during the Apollo 13 crisis and was one of the people trying to figure out how to change the filter so it fit properly. I only exchanged about a few sentences with him, but it involved him wishing [after hearing that I'm part of the design and implementing process, as far as pressing light buttons go] that he could've been in charge of doing the plans he and the other engineers created. So that's kinda awesome.

I should take some time this afternoon to clean and bake a casserole and otherwise put my jumbled apartment into order/prep for next week's collection of evening shows. Instead I'm still in my pajamas, breezing through movies saved on my DVR, seeing as I was awake before seven this morning.

Also, did you know that I'm three weeks behind on my newspapers? Jeepers.

But if I cut my hair before tech week, where will I store my pencils?

What's that? I'm about to hit tech week and might need to be reminded that there's joy in the world outside the theater? Okay then.

* I clearly should pay attention to measurements when purchasing online, since my new phone is roughly the size of a toy cellphone you give to children. It's ruggerized, which adds the bulk, but still. I've never wanted to paint something with bright primary colors more in my life. (I'll likely just end up covering it with stickers in the meantime.)

* COGSWORTH: And as I always say, if it's not Baroque, don't fix it.

* Side note (for next year, perhaps) - how have I never dressed as Belle for Halloween? I have the hazel eyes and [currently] brunette ponytail, I can probably whip up an enchanted rose, heaven knows I have enough books. This really wouldn't be hard.

* Dear Oreos: When you're on sale, it's like I have a reason to live again. (I'm joking. Kinda.)

* COGSWORTH: There's the usual things...flowers, chocolates, promises you don't intend to keep.

* Was anyone else aware that the kid who voiced Chip also was the boy in Jumanji? (Or--somewhat terrifying--he's the father of two children.)

* Gosh, I want to bake some pumpkin bread....but my kitchen is not prepared for that sort of disaster. Dear self: stop typing up this, and take five minutes to actually put things away in the kitchen.

* [How has this not been reedited into a purely B&tB post yet?] Gosh, the crane shot in the ballroom is just as magical as ever, isn't it?

Another good reason to bring the laptop to work today: currently downloading a NOVA special off iTunes

(Because no one should ever pass up free science.)

Remember over a year ago, when I was trying to decide on a new phone since my current phone had been dropped (and/or thrown across the room in disgust - hey, we all have ways of dealing with frustration) too many times and was starting to loose screen functionality? Yeah, I finally got a new phone in the mail today. (Don't get up in arms - I ordered it earlier in the week.) Add to the reasons I don't want to go to rehearsal tonight: 4. I just want to read my new technical instruction manual. I'm *that* person.

The rest of the list, in order:
1. Tired
2. I'ma gonna punch that kid.
3. [varies by day]

I did paperwork stuff all afternoon, though I didn't finish the main project I wanted to do (coming up with actors to do the turntable shifts). I'd like to blame decifering the director's plan, but it was probably just me turning lazy. That happens on Friday afternoons. (Also Wednesday mornings, for whatever reason. I really can't motivate myself to do much of anything on Wednesday mornings.)

dinner 2.0 brought to you by the fact that this ballgame is STILL going

Most of the time, I am not a sports person. I'd rather talk about movie release dates than player stats. I have a hard time keeping track of the lingo. I actually own a book called "The Smart Girl's Guide to Sports," all about non-sports people faking that knowledge.

[I don't think this is much of a secret. In fact, I was surprised when anyone believed I was actually going to soccer practice when I was attending "soccer practice."]

But....

Something seems to happen to me when the Cardinals end up in the post-season. I think this must be another genetic quirk from my mother, because I've noticed the same thing happens to her. They stop being the team that usually breaks my heart by the end of the season, turning into the team that Just Might Do it This Year, and that gives me license to truly care. I start to have opinions about the players, even beyond the known names. I'm able to have conversations over the sports section with the sports-obsessed house manager. Jeepers, I read the sports section. These past two weeks, I've been that obnoxious person at rehearsal who has the game updating on the phone when she should be writing down blocking.

So, yeah, it's unusual for me to do things like watch a four hour (and four minutes!) ballgame, or set a team logo as my facebook icon, and many other things I've done here lately. Just give it a week, people, and I'll be normal again.

"ROX-"

[Because I often need to be reminded] Things that have made me happy this past weekend:

* any jokes about tape recorders

* CARDINALS WIN! (My squirrel puppet approves.)

* this interview with the two current Doctor Who companions.

* this week's episode of Community. I seriously convulse with laughter when they hit Troy's timeline (and I would post a link, but it wouldn't be nearly as funny without context).

* graham crackers with icing, because I'm clearly nine

too long for twitter, OR twice in one day

I came in early before strike so I could print out my performance/rehearsal reports from yesterday. Someone left a box of cookies on my desk, which seems to say "PLEASE HANNAH, EAT THESE, YUM YUM, THANKS" but maybe that was their plan and if I eat one (or both - there's two!) I'll be horribly addicted to chocolate iced cookies for the rest of my life, and I really can't go broke four dollars at a time to Whole Foods.

I kinda think the meds I took earlier in the day for my congestion are kicking in. Who wants to hand me power tools?

If I could wear my pajamas to today's strike, I would do it.

My favorite moment of rehearsal yesterday is a toss-up between discovering that several of my teenage actors are Doctor Who fans AND the moment the director told our already-obnoxious youngest actor to "JUST LEAVE" (as in, the stage--this was a blocking rehearsal, after all--but with the tone of "get as far from my sight as possible").

That's a lie. The best part was going to Chuy's with Kat afterward. Creamy jalapeno always makes everything better.

So, we survived, which is the important thing. (Also important: all the large church scenes with the kids are blocked, meaning the majority of the show is roughly done. Whether they retained any of that knowledge is a question for next week.)

Not really related to anything above: but someone [with a larger apartment than mine] should throw a Halloween party, because this weekend I thought up a costume I could create almost exclusively from my closet. (Don't worry, my Thor-cohorts. I haven't forgotten the May plan. I just don't have any boots with wings at this time.)

this, on repeat

[but actually the live version from "Great Performances," which is apparently not yet online]

I had a rather long and rambling post set to publish, but I can apparently control my words better than my eating habits (what up, ice cream for supper!), because I'm gonna go ahead and call it too "girl-moody" to share with the general population.

Excuse me while I go elsewhere, such as to bed (seeing as it's now half 'til tomorrow).

Okay, people, it's like this:

I just really don't want to hang out with anyone right now, and I'm sorry that people keep asking. I'm stressed over a show that hasn't even started rehearsals yet, and constantly upset with my boss for throwing another (and another and another.....) thing on my to-do pile, even while he knows that I'm swamped. I don't want pity, I just want to be left alone so I can catch up again.

Also, the only people who are generally free at our odd-ball hours are fellow employees of this grand organization, which means--if we did hang out, we'd likely end up talking about work. (Don't even deny it, everyone knows the "when two or more ADPers are together, they must discuss the company" rule.) And that'll just remind me of all the above again.

I'm sorry that I've been short and huffy and generally less-than-pleasant lately, and I really am trying to not take out my stress on the general population. I'm just bad at it so far (and I'm sorry for that, too). I'd like to believe that a bunch of things currently stressing me will resolve themselves next week, and we can all be friendly croutons again. I'd just like to (politely) ask you to stay the heck away from me until then. Really, it's for the best.

I'm bad at this "posting online" thing.

Apparently the reason I haven't heard back from the manager at my appartment complex about a strange fine is because she is no longer the manager at my apartment complex (or, frankly, working at the company at all). So that explains things.

I wish you could add a message with friend requests on Pottermore, as I have no idea who (for example) LeviosaButtercup19 is, and no extra information is provided once you accept to make the chance worthwhile. (Yes, I'm fully aware I should say that to the Beta feedback page. If I could currently get PM to load, I would do so.)

Fun fact: when I tell someone "I can take of this project, but only if that's the only thing I have to think about for the rest of the week" ... and then that same person hands off a bunch of other small things, then I really don't know how to fix this communication problem.

Remember that one time I said I would write about the crazy Thursday show. Ha.

Dude! People with cars should always think happy thoughts about their transportation when they buy groceries. I can't express the joy I feel whenever I get to load my groceries into a backseat and not just my back.

Fun fact: I've had a headache nearly non-stop since Wednesday afternoon. Eh, I'm okay with this.

I can't go into details, as it'll end up as a Christmas present for [UNNAMED FAMILY PERSON], but the last thing I purchased at Borders today was so very random and out of place and unexpected and perfect, I can't help but feel it was the store saying goodbye and thanks.

slightly less depressing

Yes, Mr. Cashier, you bet pork potstickers and a quart of chocolate milk is the lunch of champions! Especially when you drip the potsticker dipping sauce on your skirt and get to lick it back off!

(Really, though, it isn't much better than the cold pizza I left at the other building which was *going* to be my lunch. Plus, woo-hoo, chocolate milk!)