So, the usual:

Things I Should Be Doing:
* wash dishes
* take out trash
* clean the bathroom
* take down and store Christmas decorations

Things I'm Actually Doing:
* being online
* eating cherry tomatoes
* watching TV episodes I've already seen at least 10 times apiece

publishing separately because now I'm chasing 39

Take note, actors of the world! Whenever you...

- ask a question that I've already answered (especially in reply to the email where I answered that question)

- don't send confirmation that you'll attend [whatever] after I've specifically requested it, and then show up anyway

- make a request of me that would only require thirty seconds of your own time (but will take much longer of mine)

- behave in any other rude or unacceptable manner

... I make a note. (Some shows, I've literally had a column where I've kept track of who was difficult to deal with prior to the audition.) And, whenever the director is trying to decide between you and someone else, I just might pipe up with that information.


[Why yes, I might be going through my community audition emails today, why did you ask.....?]

I only posted 38 times in 2012; clearly I'm suddenly determined to do better this year.

Hey, you wanna see the world's saddest mac & cheese? ... Neither did I.

Also on the list of things I didn't want to see: the giant roach in my dishwasher this morning, especially as he was clearly too large to have climbed in through any entrance path I could see. (I did, however, learn that my racks pull out completely, which became helpful as I tried to chase a roach around the inside of the machine.) Steam rinse, you're my current favorite setting.

I feel like I should preface this by saying I'm really, truly okay.

Today it became absolutely, non-sarcastically funny to me how much I've cried this week. (Please refer again to title.)

Some of it was legit - dropping my brother off to go to a family Christmas I didn't get to attend for the first time, talking to those same family members on Christmas, looking into moving, general hormones - but the vast majority has far more flimsy reasoning. For instance:

* Brian D'arcy James singing the instrumental parts of "I Can Do That"
* crushing milk jugs
* the giraffe in the "Southern Comfort Zone" video
* typing audition sides
* running out of soap

And onwards. Really, it's been ridiculous. Even by my normal standards of inward emotional turmoil, this is above and beyond.

However.

* If I had traveled this week, I would've just been upset about having to leave early (and pull the rest of my family away early), while traveling in March gives me a wide span of dates.
* I hate change, even if it'll ultimately save money. (Well, money I'm gonna spend on bookshelves if I have to leave my built-in shelves behind.)
* I trust in the God who knows where all this is headed, even if I can only see a little of the path ahead.
* At the time, it was kinda devastating to run out of soap.

In retrospect, I didn't need to buy the to-go pie from House of Pies.

* I am thankful that I'm not spending the day trying to rush to an airport, then to a theater, then to collapsing into bed. Tried it last year, didn't work out well.

* I am thankful for plans, already afoot, for a time of the year when I won't have to rush, and family members willing to take time out of their schedule to see me then.

* I am thankful for bacon, chocolate-covered cherries, creamy jalapeno dip, pickled ham, and the many other less-than-helpful items I've eaten this holiday. Yum!

* I guess I'm thankful that I love my family enough to be sad about not being with them this year. Some people don't have that, and I'm grateful that I do (even if it hurts at the time).

* I am not thankful for the bug on my kitchen floor this morning, but I guess I should be glad I was here to kill it.

October? There was an October?

Today in "Approaching True Adulthood" News: it didn't even hit my brain until about 4:00 that I could've done a midnight screening of Thor tonight. Hey look, it's me instead choosing sleep and washing dishes instead of screaming crowds ... and also I completely forgot that it opened today because nothing sticks in my brain anymore.

[I might be more on the "Approaching True Senility" side of things, really.]


It's my half-birthday tomorrow, so let's all get prepped for me to start having feelings about turning thirty. Watch out: that's gonna be awesome.

currently 85 degrees

I had seriously considered popping into the pool tonight (what's the point of Texas if you don't get to swim in September?), but I've seen too many movies to get past the Friday the 13th-ness of the day. Nope, can't bring myself to go swim by myself.

Maybe it's just as well - I'm not sure how it can be only 9pm on a Friday and me feel as tired as I do tonight. I think my body is catching up on all the sleep I missed over the past three months ... but all in this week. (Dear self, I don't think this is a good plan...)

the end of a thing

(As in, the quote often used in the booth the past two months: "Well, that was a thing.")

THURSDAY - Not gonna lie, I was stressed to the point of wishing I could just sit in a corner and cry. (I didn't, so I guess that's good.) Instead found out my favorite stagehand is a Braves fan ... and was watching the Cards/Braves game on his phone between cues.

FRIDAY - Only two things stand out from the show: One, the curtain getting caught on the tree was my favorite part of the show, or--more accurately--the subsequent rush of stagehands to rescue the curtain (though I decided after the show that if such a thing had happened in the first act, I would've deemed the show cursed - it taking place mid-Act 2 just made it funny). Two, I never truly saw the bat flying around backstage - all I saw was something dark move quickly and highly above the dressing room hallway, with just enough time to think "WHY are they throwing things BACKSTAGE?! - standby light cue 267." Somebody trapped it in the conference room, which is how the actors lost their green room part way through the evening. I should've stayed around to watch the stagehand recover the bat (this somehow involved throwing a towel), but I wanted to reset props instead.

SATURDAY - Shoot. What do I even remember about Saturday's show? [I really only wrote this so I could remember the bat forever.] Um... my darling mess, D., spinning like a frakking dervish in the wings before entering calmly in-character. The Miller staff being happy I restocked the Butterfingers in the candy jack-o-lantern. Offering headset high-fives to the light and sound folk after the storm sequence. Finally feeling coordinated at pressing three headset buttons and the deck crew light switch at the same time (that's a big one). After the show, the Miller staff asked to keep my contact info on file, and the same crying actress hugged me three times.

Life, right now.

I'm enjoying this new channel that randomly showed up, and happens to be airing Farscape from the beginning. Starting this week. Opa!

Oh, hey there, week old creamy jalapeno dip! Why, yes - you are trying to kill me with your concentrated, built-up power. I was gonna save you to marinate chicken, but I think I'm gonna eat you tonight instead. (I'm not at work tomorrow - I can stay up until 2pm.)

I've spent the last couple of weeks slowly working my way through both 'Spaced' (over work lunches) and 'Slings And Arrows.' Neither show had a long run, and I'm gonna be so sad when I finish one. Then the other.

I was gonna run to Walgreens for some milk (and to take advantage of a free rental), but instead I sat online while a Broadway composer I love had a live webchat for whoever wanted to sit in. Sometimes I love technology.

Just sent a thing. Hope it goes over as intended.

Oh, "Pacific Rim," your ridiculous film, you. Four out of four snakes on a plane - plus another half for what my brain wants to call 'love theme for a giant monster' playing over the end credits. Gosh, I wish I'd been at a midnight showing rather than in the house of six people I sat in today.

Please go with it if I start using "canceling the apocalypse" in regular conversation for a few days. [Besides, if any position in theater has such a slogan, you know it would belong to the stage manager.]


Okay, yes, I'm going to bed now.

My body may have tried to kill* me, but I'm not actually dead yet

*Don't worry, family members: I'm mostly exaggerating. (Except that I really truly felt like death ... yet still made it to every single day of work this past week. I might have other problems.)


- The show is open, and that's good, even if it hasn't started that "show running itself" thing that shows usually do by this point. None of the kids seem to be actively trying to destroy any of the other kids (except for some of the siblings - nothing I can do there), so I'm grateful for that. I have a rolling door frame that I think is working toward sentience as it's started actively refusing to move properly onstage, but there's little I can do there, too. [Maybe it'll grow smart enough that it'll start resetting props for me.]

- A fair portion of my day off today went into final construction of the Brother's birthday gift (he's already okay with it being late). I'd post pictures, because I'm really proud of how it turned out, but that would sort of defeat the surprise. (Ask me in a month, you know, when I remember I have a blog again.) I love when I get to be geeky and crafty at the same time. Also, cardboard still sucks to paint (just TAKE the COLOR!) and I always always forget this.

- I'm fairly certain the heatwave is gonna kill half my plants before my mom shows up next week. Sorry, mom. Sorry, begonias.

I'm currently on track to fall asleep *before* midnight, and we won't talk about how long it's been since that happened.

During rehearsal today I listened to the ASM and a cast member talk about how weird it'll be when they turn twenty-three because Taylor Swift's "22" won't be the same to them anymore. I remained quiet and focused on not sprouting gray hairs.

This has not been the greatest of weeks, though at least the second half was not sucky, especially in comparison to the first half, where my whole system felt like it was going to simultaneously implode and explode at the same time. (I'm sure that's a thing that happens, right?) All my tech week stress hit a week early, along with some professional and personal upheaval, plus we all know how much I love sharing with others that I'm not feeling/dealing well.

*sarcasm!*

Really, though, life took an upturn after Wednesday's not-at-all-awful run-for-tech, and I'd like to think I worked through enough tech week things this week to tackle tech much calmer next week. (I'm also enough of a realist to know the last part isn't true--some bizarre thing I haven't even dreamed of yet is probably going to drop mid-week, as it always does--but I've done enough other things that I'll hopefully have time to deal.)

Before then, though, I'm sticking with tonight's bedtime schedule. G'night.

Things that consistently make me laugh like it could kill me:

[purely in good ways, of course]

- the post-post credits scene at the end of "The Avengers"

- the inmates' reaction to '...and cherries jubilee' in the Nathan Lane version of "The Man Who Came to Dinner"

- the indoor water balloon fight from "Parks and Rec"

- whenever Brian Williams appears anywhere making fun of his on-air persona

- "SAVED by the BUOYANCY of CITRUS!"

[this post has a somewhat abrupt ending because my bacon was burning, and the thought was gone when I returned]

It occurred to me recently that I've stopped taking down quotes like I used to do. My quote habit's been running since ... middle school? high school? (Definitely strong and well-known by college.) It certainly isn't that people around me stopped being quotable - I imagine it's related to not running a show at the moment. When I'm stage managing, I'm never too far from a piece of paper (or, in a pinch, pen on the palm of my hand) to take down a note or reminder or whatever. Why not write down everything else amusing at the same time?

Maybe I'm growing more comfortable taking part in life in other ways than my previous introvert-approved method provided. (When you're the person documenting life, how much do you actually need to be involved?) Maybe I'm just tired of walking around with ink on my hands, which reads far more metaphorical to me than the reality - oh man! you write down something funny, but forget to transcribe it somewhere more permament before washing your hands ... this happens in my life way too often. Probably something in the middle - behind chewing my nails, this should be my longest-held habit.

"Come and meet the girl who can"

Oh, Houston-area comic cons! Why are you all happening at times when I cannot attend you? I'm even [unintentionally] one step closer to a Souffle Girl outfit:

Step one - vaguelly looking like her (thanks, shortness and brunette hair)
Step two - learn a British dialect as part of high school theater
Step three - red tennis shoes!

(This conversation just made very little sense to a lot of people I know read this. Sorry.)


I looked around yesterday and realized a large portion of the photos I have out are the same pictures that moved to Texas with me. They're still great pictures, but I'm switching some out to reflect more of my life from the past--sweet heavens--seven years. (Don't worry, "swankin ladies" isn't going anywhere.)

(I don't know where all these earrings came from, nor why they live in my apartment.

Productive things from today:
* cleaned the bathroom
* sorted out my linen closet
* so much sweeping


Less productive things:
* finally watched that Netflix
* matched the (approximately) ten million earrings mixed up in a tray together
* used a coupon to buy a frivolous thing I wanted to buy anyway


Completely unproductive:
* watched the same five minutes of Doctor Who multiple times to see if I would cry each time (the answer is yes)
* saw Jurassic Park at the HMNS with my company intern gal
* only slightly superglued my fingers together

let's watch the flowers grow

So ... hey there, twenty-nine. Pleased to meet you, whatnot.

It was a good birthday, with lots of people offering nice words and nice food. It was also one of the few birthdays where I didn't have specific theater-related duties (rehearsal, performance, or otherwise) for the day, which freed me up for the people and food. You guys are all awesome.

[Seeing as the power just flashed off and back on, I'll cut myself short. Please remind me about how I wanted to talk about all the random things I've found while cleaning out my closet boxes. Hello, college notebooks and picnic baskets.]

I just wanted to hold onto this thought.

I'm baking cookies, and the simple act of laying out newspaper/wax paper for them to cool brought on a rush of my childhood like you would not believe. I've rewritten that sentence five times trying to get the right emotion out. Close enough.


[Also, don't get excited, actors: I'm not sharing these with you. Thought about it, decided against.]

"Not everything comes along just when we want it" -Miss P

I cleaned my kitchen, then cooked dinner. Which means part of my kitchen needs to be cleaned again. I feel like I did this in the wrong order.

It's been fun unpacking drawers and cabinets to find where I threw knicknacks or important papers or whatever in the haste of clearing things in the apartment. You never quite know where anything will be, which is equally frustrating and fascinating at the same time. (There's a lot of "why did I think that would be a good idea?!" happening in 21 lately.)

I had a third thing [per usual], but it's gone now. Oh well.

Hello.

The great March apartment flooding incident should be [oh please, nothing else pop up] complete forever, as I have new carpets and walls and rent credit. Also, my furniture is basically back where it belongs, though I have a bunch of boxes around from where I'm using this as an opportunity to reorganize. Of course.

I'm working the children's show now, which is ... unexpected. Also, I enjoy doing a show without *being in charge of everything* since it's such a flip of my normal life. You need someone to turn on some lights and fetch water for the dressing rooms? On it! (I played sudoku and texted people all through yesterday's tech, and it was glorious.)

I've been to the movies twice in the past two weeks, and have standing plans for twice more before the end of the month. April, you know the way to a girl's heart.


You now have to do a comment confirmation word-thingy. I'm sorry that we live in 2013 and spambots are trying to take over the world. (On 2013's plus side: Skype, watching baseball games live over the internet, Jurassic Park in 3D)