Written Snapshots of Alligator Country

(The real snapshots will be on my webpage upon developing.)

Because I just wrote ten zillion more words than I was planning to for my last post, I’ll stick with the highlights for y’all (oh, the many times I heard that the last few days) regarding Louisiana and the Mainstay Why Does this Parking Lot Suck? Independence Bowl. So….

It’ll Make Up for the Lack of Zzzs I’ll Sleep at College
We left for the darling state of Louisiana at four blessed thirty-five in the morning. Naturally, sleep was the first thing on my mind and that’s how I can characterize the first part of the trip:

4:35 – leave
6:50 – wake up in a McDonalds parking lot somewhere
7:14 – wake up again leaving the parking lot
9:08 – wake up in an unknown state
12:44 – wake up in Arkansas
1:50 – arrive in Shreveport

Scratch that “first” part—I basically slept for eight hours. You know what’s even better? I slept even more on the way back to Sullivan! So much so, I can’t even break it down into numbers. How’s that for using time affectively?

Dang Kooky Old Ladies
Even with as many people who were own the trip (booked “officially” in two different hotels; I think both filled up), we continually ran into some of the same people. My favorites were a group of older ladies who, between downing overpriced glasses of alcohol, kept commenting about how I dragged a book everywhere. When they found out I was planning on reading during the entire game; they almost couldn’t comprehend it. Best comment to come out of all of this? [from during the sucky pep rally] “What? Are you studying right now? She must not go to Mizzou….”

Speaking of Sucky Pep Rallies…
ATTENTION City of Shreveport! We’re on to your plot to herd us all to the casinos by setting up the most horrendous pep rally in the history of meaningless pep rallies! Not only were we all crowded into the Expo Center instead of the convention hall, but the “all” means both Mizzou and Arkansas! Who wants to go to a pep rally for the other team, even if it’s only for half the time? What’s wrong with you people? Only one good thing came out of shuttling us continually to the same wretched spot downtown.

Mmm…Onion Rings…
If you’re in Shreveport with the insipid casinos, wander up two blocks and eat at the Blind Tiger. Trust me. Go there, order the catfish, get a side of onion rings, and you’ll want to buy a t-shirt, just like I did.

Bonus prize: the first time you wear the shirt, it still smells like the restaurant, so it’s like you’re there again. Cigarette smoke and grease never smelled so good together.

(But, Hannah, Wasn’t there a Game?)
I keep getting asked what I thought of the game. My standard answer has become, “Well, I got 100 pages read.” Truthfully, it was more like 120, but I don’t figure people quibble over details like that.

I did watch some of the game, which probably contributed to the Tigers’ downfall, as I generally ignore them completely and then they win by a huge margin. Whatever. At least there weren’t any scandals attached to either team at my bowl game.

Anyway, the best part of the game was probably the post-game action in the parking lot. For awhile, it appeared we were about to have a repeat of the band’s Cotton Bowl trip my freshman year when we rang in the New Year on the bus between the “Dallas” ranch and our hotel. Basically no one was moving in the parking lot…except some white SUV traveling the wrong way. From my bus window, one could clearly watch her try to squeeze herself between another car and a limo (though not the limo driving around with the tiger tail hanging out the trunk), almost hit the car, and receive a talking-to from one of the police officers standing around not helping the traffic situation. After a few minutes conversation, she got to head the way she wanted: between the out-going traffic and back toward where the buses had parked [where there was no way of escaping the waiting line of cars].

We hadn’t sat long when she (the SUV driver was a tall blonde) pulled back on the side of the bus and tried to worm her way between us and the parked police car. After a few attempts, she made a charge for a small clearing between a trash can and telephone pole….and was immediately halted by one of the officers, who suddenly had something to do. First they talked through her car window, then she jumped out of the car and marched over to the police car. That’s when the entire left side of the bus got interested. Pretty soon, she was yelling at the officer and he had cuffed her, happily helping her into the back of his car. Naturally, this all made for a great show (especially once her husband came over and after she was released back to her vehicle—ticket in hand—and went to argue with the officers again. It was only after she got back in the car and on the phone to someone (Lawyer? Equally ditsy/drunk friend?) that the bus finally had enough room to move and took off again. It was almost a shame. I could’ve handled ringing in the new year if I could’ve seen a full out arrest.