Sunday, April 10, 2005

Continuing where we were before...

The lab show is finished (and went amazingly well, thanks - I might post some pictures later), which makes this an odd evening where I could actually stay in and work on homework. So sad for myself.

Anyway, it also means that I have some free time...enough to elaborate on the previous post where I just threw out the Muny lack-of-job-ness and retreated away from the computer. I'll admit that I was bummed when I found out on Friday afternoon, but I personally had suspected that was the cause of the long news delay. I'm proud that I didn't break down on the parents when I called them, though I had to stop Megan from coming over after I did start to cry when she called me. I'm also not ashamed to say that the full-out bawling came when I threw on my techie black for that night's performance and I had to pull myself together in the closet.

(Hey--here comes some happiness!)

Beyond that, though, I'm really doing okay. I've accepted it without beating myself up and life is moving on. The ironic moment of the weekend occurred when I received the Muny season flyer in the mail Saturday, in a "well, we can't hire you but you could still give us some money" moment. I got a really nice e-card from Megan this morning talking about how she was there if I needed to talk and if the Muny couldn't see how awesome I was they didn't deserve me (which is its own type of irony as Megan works for the Muny). Unlike some times in the past where this has caused me to break down into sobs again, my basic reaction was "oh, um, okay" and to finish checking my email.

(Good golly this is getting long.) It's not that I'm not sad about missing out on the internship, because it would've been really convenient, what with the location on my side of the state, in my house that I won't be living in much longer, etc. I just know that, since I am losing one great thing, there must be something ten times better waiting for me on the other side of the road. I have the faith that things will work out, and that's enough for now.

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