Special "just got back in" post

* Deepest apologize, whatever political group you are that keeps asking me if I'm a registered Missouri voter as you thrust that thick clipboard in my face, as I cruise past you and briefly pretend I'm actually from Iowa or Kansas or Not-Missouri.

* Providing me with the bag of bubble gum was not at all healthy for my jaw.

* I need a pair of those tennis shoes that convert into roller skates because I just don't move fast enough anymore...and I realize that's saying a lot for me and my knees of steel. (What? You didn't realize all my power motion comes straight from my knees and that's why I'll have to replace both of them before I'm 40? Okay then.)