in the light

For those of you in the know, the water did come back on for the second show, and the electricity was never a problem. For those of you not in the know, I'll fill you in on the rest of the story (which I promise doesn't lose its kick by knowing the ending) on real-person Monday. We all know that actually means later this week, but I'll throw in a knock-knock joke to make up for the inevitable delay.


Several of us got together for Easter to hang out, hunt eggs, eat enormous amounts of food, psyche each other out at cards, etc. As often happens when two or more interns are gathered, we got onto the subject of who's probably staying and who's on the fence, and--more importantly--what we wish we could change. (I won't go into the last part.)

I wonder if I've spent enough time on that decision for myself. I've been planning on staying from the moment I realized they seemed to want to keep me around. A theater company offering me a position doing exactly what I want to do right now--work in children's theater--in this crazy city that I've come to love: why wouldn't I stay? As transient as we theater people are, and as much as I still want to accomplish in places not ending in -exas (more like -ngland), I would like to take a bit of time to settle in one place, gain as much experience as possible, and continue to grow and improve.

I've been in Ecclesiastes, which--at first glance--could be summed up as "we're all going to die anyway, whether fool or wiseman, workhorse or lazy bum, so why bother?" Let me tell you, as busy as I've been lately, *anything* telling me my hard work doesn't matter just ticks me off. As you get further along, though, it turns into less "work doesn't matter" than "work not done unto the Lord doesn't matter." Ultimately, it won't matter if I think I should stay in Houston, but that I'm where God wants me to work, whatever that position might be, wherever it might be.

I'm a bit frightened to turn this over, suddenly giving myself permission to possibly not stay. Honestly, it's not like I've been beating back an impulse that I should leave, but I also haven't been earnestly searching. That such an epiphany should hit me at around 11:30 p.m. while watching a movie with friends is simply an example of God finding me once I sit still long enough. What point I'm trying to make by posting it to the whole world, I don't know. I guess prayers would be appreciated.

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I've changed the title for this post three times, trying to find something to capture this post in a single moment. And then I realized that the song I was listening to (on repeat, no less) said it all. Make of that what you will.