susie sunshine

So, who else is glad last week is over?

On Sunday, not only did I eat the world's most perfect burger (with amazing bacon, of course), but I also spent a large quantity of quality re-reading the "final" drafts of everything I turned in for my senior English capstone creative non-fiction class. While I naturally remembered most of the "Jesus and the kittens" saga, I had forgotten the entire final section where I spent one final patch in the Sullivan house, then emptied of nearly all but the doors I painted all weekend.

More than anything else, this had been the hardest part to write (and it shows - it's also the roughtest, in my opinion). I was trying to write about my inability to change being completely destroyed with going head-to-head with change *everywhere*...while still not wanting to accept that change. There's an incredibly selfish six year old inside me who would never allow anything to grow or de-evolve (as it may be) from its current position--friendships, hairstyles, etc.--if she had the chance. And, though the twenty-three year old I am sometimes wins these battles, almost as often lately the six year old decides to sit in the corner and pout until she gets her way.

(I don't know that I make sense anymore.)

I guess I've just been homesick lately, now that I am full-time for as long as the Players and I play chicken about me moving to London (someday! really!) and am therefore in Texas. And I don't know that I ever got enough post-P&P rest. And sometimes it is nice--in a derranged way--to sit and sulk for a bit...as long as I remember I eventually have to be an adult and look up insurance, or whatnot.

(Side note: I used final long-ago above in quotes because I'm itching to revamp some portions...just as any girl who was looking for a way to begin writing again should. That was my other big ephiphany of the weekend; I miss not writing things, even when they were technically for a grade.)