[eight minutes into movie]
"Is Brad already dead?"
[water gushes out of elevator]
"Oooh! Brad *is* already dead!"

I keep checking out books from the classics section of the library, hoping to finally finish off some items I never read in high school, college, etc. What media do I keep consuming instead? Disaster movies, comic books, and gossip about the Mean Girls Broadway bootleg that's being shared *everywhere*