Soundtrack for today's post: "Valentine" by The Get-Up Kids. Appropriately mellow theme music.

Back in...oh, about third grade, Valentine's Day was my absolute favorite holiday. Why not? You got candy, everyone passed out cute little cards (lots of which I still have somewhere, unless Mom cleaned my room after I left for college like she did Caleb's), and you could blatantly tell guys you like them because everybody got cards. There was no favortism involved back then, so if you (and by "you" I mean "I") wanted to give a card to David Kromery (Yes, him. He became my archnemesis in high school, but in elementary school I thought he was hot stuff) professing my love--though "love" is a strong word for third grade romance--I could do so without everyone knowing.

Flashforward to middle school when we switched from fairness police to "life's not fair--deal." Suddenly, valentines only came to a select few, and I, generally speaking, wasn't included in that number. Sure, I still received candy, but it's not the same getting conversation hearts from your mother as from the cute boy two rows back to the left.

And then there's high school, with the entire confounded office filled with sickly-pink over-priced gifts. Why do you people have to make single people feel so left out? I know it's just another commercially dreanched holiday designed to give store owners a way to tide themselves over until Easter (which I'm sure will grant its own little rant about commercialism when it comes around), but it's the happiness of you dating people that irks me more than anything.

I'll make a deal with y'all...the first person who tells me how miserable Valentine's Day makes them feel (or, barring that, the first person who just needs some sunshine) will receive some fun stickers in the mail. We single (or just miserable) people gotta stick together!