So Completely Serious

I need someone to make me cry right now. My monologue's not working right because I suddenly can't find anything sad, and I'm calling in reinforcements. Yes, I know most people try to avoid all those who might have a talent at making others cry, but right now I'm asking for someone to pretty please act like scum and make me burst into tears so I can figure out how to recreate it for my monologue. Thanks. I'll probably never ask again.