working on feeling human again

A collection of one-liners about being ill:

- I received my insurance card this week, just in time to need it.

- Every time I've laughed at something this week, it's turned into a coughing fit. It's like having consumption, but only when people fall over or give me sugar.

- Brilliant idea until executed: consume the maximum amount of cough syrup allowed in one go.

- I had one about feeling more druggy when the cough syrup was leaving my system than while actually under it, but I don't have the patience to phrase it out before things get all fuzzy again.