I'm sorry for being a bit over-dramatic lately. I'm not rethinking all my life choices--let's just say I'm evaluating a few of them. (Dear SP: I don't know what I would do if I weren't an SM either, so that likely won't change soon. Love you!)
If you include the special events of the past two seasons (which I do, because half of them involved a difficult director), this is the eleventh thing in a row I've stage managed for the company. I hasten to add that I feel beyond thrilled to be constantly employed--in my degree field, of all things--especially when I check in on my fellow theater majors online (all the baristas, dog walkers, office workers, and even actual theater workers). But everyone eventually reaches their edge of sanity, and I've been teetering for awhile.
I didn't get into theater for money (only an idiot would), but I can't pay my rent on the satisfaction of a job well done. And I don't want this even to be about money (see again: idiots in theater, above). You don't grow up in a home parented by a state employee and a teacher, yet think money is all there is to life. (Dear Mom and Dad: Thanks. This was a good thing.) I'm just a little tired of being stuck at work all the time, and being told I'm doing good work by people who don't always understand what exactly I do, and calling that enough.
I'm feeling antsy about life, but haven't figured out where that's leading me to jump next. (Or, maybe I'm supposed to just sit back. Working on it.)