So, the usual:

Things I Should Be Doing:
* wash dishes
* take out trash
* clean the bathroom
* take down and store Christmas decorations

Things I'm Actually Doing:
* being online
* eating cherry tomatoes
* watching TV episodes I've already seen at least 10 times apiece

publishing separately because now I'm chasing 39

Take note, actors of the world! Whenever you...

- ask a question that I've already answered (especially in reply to the email where I answered that question)

- don't send confirmation that you'll attend [whatever] after I've specifically requested it, and then show up anyway

- make a request of me that would only require thirty seconds of your own time (but will take much longer of mine)

- behave in any other rude or unacceptable manner

... I make a note. (Some shows, I've literally had a column where I've kept track of who was difficult to deal with prior to the audition.) And, whenever the director is trying to decide between you and someone else, I just might pipe up with that information.


[Why yes, I might be going through my community audition emails today, why did you ask.....?]

I only posted 38 times in 2012; clearly I'm suddenly determined to do better this year.

Hey, you wanna see the world's saddest mac & cheese? ... Neither did I.

Also on the list of things I didn't want to see: the giant roach in my dishwasher this morning, especially as he was clearly too large to have climbed in through any entrance path I could see. (I did, however, learn that my racks pull out completely, which became helpful as I tried to chase a roach around the inside of the machine.) Steam rinse, you're my current favorite setting.

I feel like I should preface this by saying I'm really, truly okay.

Today it became absolutely, non-sarcastically funny to me how much I've cried this week. (Please refer again to title.)

Some of it was legit - dropping my brother off to go to a family Christmas I didn't get to attend for the first time, talking to those same family members on Christmas, looking into moving, general hormones - but the vast majority has far more flimsy reasoning. For instance:

* Brian D'arcy James singing the instrumental parts of "I Can Do That"
* crushing milk jugs
* the giraffe in the "Southern Comfort Zone" video
* typing audition sides
* running out of soap

And onwards. Really, it's been ridiculous. Even by my normal standards of inward emotional turmoil, this is above and beyond.

However.

* If I had traveled this week, I would've just been upset about having to leave early (and pull the rest of my family away early), while traveling in March gives me a wide span of dates.
* I hate change, even if it'll ultimately save money. (Well, money I'm gonna spend on bookshelves if I have to leave my built-in shelves behind.)
* I trust in the God who knows where all this is headed, even if I can only see a little of the path ahead.
* At the time, it was kinda devastating to run out of soap.

In retrospect, I didn't need to buy the to-go pie from House of Pies.

* I am thankful that I'm not spending the day trying to rush to an airport, then to a theater, then to collapsing into bed. Tried it last year, didn't work out well.

* I am thankful for plans, already afoot, for a time of the year when I won't have to rush, and family members willing to take time out of their schedule to see me then.

* I am thankful for bacon, chocolate-covered cherries, creamy jalapeno dip, pickled ham, and the many other less-than-helpful items I've eaten this holiday. Yum!

* I guess I'm thankful that I love my family enough to be sad about not being with them this year. Some people don't have that, and I'm grateful that I do (even if it hurts at the time).

* I am not thankful for the bug on my kitchen floor this morning, but I guess I should be glad I was here to kill it.