[And putting off finishing show reports, based on what I'm currently doing...]

Things I Love About Theater:

* Walking around an empty, dark space in the quiet beforehand.

* Listening to the banter between everyone prior to a show start, as they're prepping or waiting for show start.

* Being presented with a problem that requires an on-the-fly answer, and knowing the answer will come, often faster than I think it will.

* Hearing an audience audibly react to whatever just happened onstage.

"...and my dance audition where I will flip my hair on an urban rooftop zoomed in on my face the whole time."

I love that not only do some actors know that I'm going to be the one answering the auditions email account, meaning they can include some weird extra line among the rest of their professional email (because it'll make me laugh rather than question their sanity), but that some of them will text first to confirm I'm still in charge of the account, thus giving me a head's-up that something fun is about to hit my inbox. Gosh, I love the camaraderie of theater.

So here's where my brain is this morning.

Say whatever you will about Disney's need to remake their animated films as live action, but the thought of "have courage and be kind" hits me deep down. Naturally courageous people - who are ready to stride out into the world, able to not care about how others feel about their actions - may be less thoughtful about how their behavior affects others, and the naturally kind can become so battered by the way the world takes advantage of that tender-heartedness that it becomes scary to put yourself into the world. The notion of being brave enough to live life strongly and without hesitation while also being able to care deeply for those around you (and for yourself! have the courage to be kind to yourself!) feels so foreign to me some days, and so beautiful, tangibly close on others.

Anyway, Hiding Place closes today. Which doesn't - but also totally does - pertain to the above.

Theatre jobs are weird

There are many lovely moments I've shared with others backstage (the dance breaks, splitting up the real food after the actors have chosen not to consume it during their scenes, the endless deep dark black humor jokes that have carried us through this difficult material), but perhaps my favorite thing is the actor who has realized we're both stuck in a kneeling position at separate - but visible to each other - positions backstage at the top of Act 2, and has thus started doing bits of CATS choreography while I try not to upset the world with my giggles ... before a whistle blows and he has to be a Nazi and I have to watch to make sure actors aren't injured doing fight choreography. What a world.

Oh, HEY THERE, audition season!

Sentence I cannot include in this Very Professional Reply I'm sending to an actor who's been confused by talking to another actor about show that has multiple audition dates: "Kindly tell [NAME REDACTED] to stay out of business that isn't hers; I invited everyone to the date I invited them to for a reason."

(Or like now, when I paused mid crying jag to write a blog post)

I appear to be at the state of emotional growth where I can recognize that I'm having an emotional reaction outsized to the ...whatever that caused it, but can't stop the outburst from occurring.

For example, just now:
ONE SIDE OF MY BRAIN: There's no reason we should be crying over this.
OTHER SIDE: Oh yeah? Who's gonna stop ME! [pictures throwing a heavy item across the room]

At least I'm not *actually* throwing things?

(Probably not a sign of increased maturity, at least)

I don't know what sign this is, but my socks actually matched the rest of my outfit today (dark stripes and dark stripes) rather than existing on their own separate realm of colors per usual.

What is UP, 1+ AM!

I should probably update the links in the sidebar, as the only site that I still regularly visit is my One True Love, IMDB (and a bunch of those blogs haven't posted in years), but it's been three months since I last posted here, so I don't think the links are probably anyone else's concern, either.

I moved into Apartment Blackjack eight years ago today. Sadly, I'm probably not going to have time for city gardening, as I often do on the move-eversary, though more because I don't have the time to run somewhere for new plants what with the "running two separate shows' rehearsals and a third's audition prep" thing that is my life right now. Hey self, remind me what February was like, when there was nothing pressing going on, and why we squandered all that time?

I'm probably wish I had gone ahead and re-written blocking tonight (technically last night) when I get to rehearsal, but it seemed like a good idea at the time. I did the rest of the to-do list and answered all the audition emails, which are two small miracles.

It's been long enough since dinner that I'm hungry again, but I'm pretty sure eating something now is not going to help my falling asleep somewhere in the next PLEASE SOON.

The stream-of-consciousness of this blog post is sponsored by the year 2009.