The post for one specific person that probably should've stayed in my journal

I was just sitting there onstage, freshly done with my last line, when I suddenly I thought I heard you laugh. I swear I must've jumped straight off my box, the sound threw me so much. I couldn't turn around to look (I didn't have my glasses on, anyway), but I was suddenly both amazed and thrilled. I kept telling myself it couldn't be you, but there still remained the possibility, as senseless as it may seem now. I hadn't asked you to come and yet, there you [apparently] were and there I was, with half the show left.

As much as I tried to focus ("Focus on the show, Hannah. Hannah. The show. The show, Hannah..."), I kept going back to you. Wondering if you'd liked my scenes. Thinking about what kind of flowers you might have brought. Telling myself it couldn't be you, pondering how to react if I actually saw you standing in the lobby, waiting for me afterward. Mentally preparing myself how to react when you weren't there; mentally preparing myself how to react when you were.

Obviously, you weren't there. And, I suppose by that point I wasn't really expecting you anymore since I didn't hear you laugh again. It's funny, but I was still a little disappointed. Not a lot, but enough for it to bug me.