I'm gonna need to backdate something after I write this, because this wasn't how I wanted to start the year.

Last night, as I sat through forty minutes of back and forth "I don't know - what do you want to do?" (and the only answer in my brain was RETHINK MY LIFE CHOICES), I already knew this was not going to be an easy audition process. But, as of tonight, if I have to sit through an hour of hemming and hawing, "I don't know"s, and back in the day reminiscences every night after rehearsal, I'll quit this job by tech week. I just really can't deal with it anymore, not after dealing with those kids for three months, not after this many shows in a row. My last bit of flexibility went out the window in giving Mr. Walker a show he could be proud of this summer, and I've been coasting ever since.

Unrelated to any of the above (but don't we need a change of subject now?): my Sondheim book has somewhat ruined my pop music ear. I mean, nothing can totally kill my pop music ear (I fully expect myself to be the awesome 80 year old who can sing Spice Girls songs), but I can almost *feel* the off rhyme when a song tries to pull out, say, "car" and "arm." (The slurry country twang helps more than my typing, but still.)